IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Many young people leave school with negative attitudes towards learning. What are the causes？How to encourage young people to study？

Learning is the main reason for
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of schools across the world,
sadly
Punctuation problem
sadly,
show examples
 many young people
dropout
Use the right word
drop out
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 negative attitudes.
This
Linking Words
 is caused by
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
interest
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 a possible method to encourage them it highlight the benefits of learning.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the most significant cause
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 view on learning is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
interest
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 occurs when one is learning something new
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 young ones tend not to give attention to what is being taught, which
then
Linking Words
 results in failure to understand the concepts.
This
Linking Words
 is fueled by many thinking
education
Correct word choice
that education
show examples
 is hard.
For example
Linking Words
, many do not get the support from their parents, which results
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 no
interest
Use synonyms
 in the academic journey.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, by highlighting the benefits of learning
one
Punctuation problem
, one
show examples
 can grow back
interest
Use synonyms
 in learning.
For instance
Linking Words
, many who grew up
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 poor family backgrounds can work hard to learn at school so that they can
inprove
Correct your spelling
improve
 their financial position
one
Use the right word
once
show examples
 they get good jobs or start their own businesses.

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structure
Add a clear intro that states the topic and your view.
structure
Use topic sentences for each paragraph and end with a short conclusion.
language
Fix grammar and spelling and use simple, steady words; such as correct 'dropout' and 'improve' and avoid long, hard phrases.
content
Give real and clear examples to show causes and how to fix them.
structure
There is a good plan to show why learners lose interest and how to fix.
content
Some ideas are clear, and you try to link cause and fix.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • holistic understanding
  • irrelevant
  • disengage
  • supportive learning environment
  • undiganosed issues
  • frustration
  • aversion
  • peer pressure
  • stigma
  • academically inclined
  • non-academic peers
  • digital age
  • over-reliance
  • instant gratification
What to do next:
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