IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that money must be spent on promoting the use of bicycles in cities while others think cities must spend on public transport discuss both views and give your opinion

There is no denying the fact that governments should spend money appropriately for the greater good of
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 own
people
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that money must be spent on promoting the use of
bicycles
Use synonyms
, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that finances must be spent on public
transport
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and express my own opinion. On the one hand,
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are exceptionally eco-friendly as it has no
green
Use the right word
greenhouse
show examples
 gases.
In other words
Linking Words
, unlike other vehicles,
bicycles
Use synonyms
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not produce green
emisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
, making it a better option
whent
Correct your spelling
when
 it comes to environmental health. Another important aspect of
utilizing
Use the right word
utilising
show examples
bicycles
Use synonyms
 is that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 fitter.
For example
Linking Words
, some studies point out that
indivduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who ride
bicycles
Use synonyms
 occasionally have stronger muscles than those who do not.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, investing in public
transport
Use synonyms
 has
divers
Use the right word
diverse
show examples
 advantages for society,
such
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 as the ability
of moving
Change preposition
to move
show examples
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 number of
people
Use synonyms
 with only one automated vehicle. It is possible to say that the advantage of large capacity can result in reducing traffic congestion and air pollution.
Moreover
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,
utilizing
Use the right word
utilising
show examples
 advanced public transportation can save time, which
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
show examples
 population desperately need nowadays.
For instance
Linking Words
, if it
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 one hour to reach your destination by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car, it will probably take 30 minutes to arrive by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transport
Use synonyms
, which means you can arrive faster. In conclusion, spending on public transportation and promoting the use of
bicycles
Use synonyms
 both can suit a city well. My view is to spend more on public
transport
Use synonyms
 to move many
people
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 support
bicycles
Use synonyms
 to offer
overall
Linking Words
 health.

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task response
Say more about how both ideas work in a city and give a clear final view. Keep one main point in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Join ideas well. Use linking words to move from one sentence to the next.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar to avoid mistakes that hide ideas.
task response
Give simple examples that show the point, like how bikes help health or how buses carry many people.
structure
Plan is clear: intro, two views, and a final opinion
content
Two body parts discuss each side
Topic Vocabulary:
  • money
  • spend
  • invest
  • city
  • bike
  • bicycle
  • bike lane
  • bike path
  • public transport
  • bus
  • train
  • safety
  • health
  • air
  • traffic
  • car
  • short trip
  • parking
  • rules
  • driver
  • rider
  • reliable
  • service
  • fare
  • affordable
  • route
  • work
  • school
  • shops
  • funding
  • work
  • mix
  • balance
  • last mile
  • connect
  • planning
  • policy
  • government
  • step
  • review
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