IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Successful people try new things and takes new risks rather than only doing what they know how do well. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that individuals who are accomplished try new things and take on new potential dangers rather than just doing what they are skilled
.
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at.
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 Personally, I completely disagree with
this
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 view for a variety of reasons.
To begin
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 with, successful people try innovative approaches and take new risks can lead to failure because risk-taking is not always beneficial.
This
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 means that many ideas, ventures end in failure , wasting both time and money. In fact, many young entrepreneurs taking unnecessary risks may result in financial loss or career setbacks.
For example
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, Bill Gates is the world-famous billionaire; in 2024, he started opening his new company to find more opportunities in securities.
However
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, he failed and lost billions of dollars.
Furthermore
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, only doing what prosperous people know how to do well
also
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 brings success.
This
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 is because individuals who concentrate on what they already do well can achieve mastery. In fact, athletes, musicians, and scientists reach the top of their fields through years of practice and specialisation , not by frequently changing direction. A particularly good example here is Usain Bolt, who became the fastest man in the world by perfecting sprinting techniques,
made
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based
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by
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on
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 his own experience
about
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of
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 running. In conclusion, successful people try new things and take new risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. In my opinion, I suppose taking potential dangers can be unsafe for success.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it steady through the essay.
development
Give two or three strong reasons and show how they prove your view.
accuracy
Use true, safe examples and avoid wrong facts.
cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one idea and use easy link words to connect ideas.
grammar
Check grammar and use short, plain sentences to reduce error.
structure
There is a clear view of the task and a plan to argue it.
cohesion
Linking words help flow between ideas in many places.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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