IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map show the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map show the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The given map
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 in
Paris
Use synonyms
 and the areas which have possibilities to open a new restaurant. In the location of
Paris
Use synonyms
 city, there is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 Seine
river
Fix capitalization
River
show examples
 which
seperate
Correct your spelling
separates
 the city into
northen
Correct your spelling
northern
part
Use synonyms
 and
southen
Correct your spelling
southern
part
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 these two
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
 can be linked by three bridges called Debility Footbridge, Lena Bridge, and Bir Haeim Bridge.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the north side of
Paris
Use synonyms
, in the east, there is the riverside aquarium
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 every day
visitors
Check wording
apply
show examples
, around 2000 people
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will be there. Next to the aquarium, it is a park
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
located just next to the first
protential
Correct your spelling
potential
 location of a new
restuarant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
. Just opposite the park to the
northen
Correct your spelling
north
, the
Meritime Museam
Correct your spelling
Maritime Museum
 is there and it
welcome
Correct subject-verb agreement
welcomes
show examples
 about 8000 visitors per day. With regard to the
southen
Correct your spelling
southern
part
Use synonyms
 of
Paris
Use synonyms
, the most significant tourist destination of
Paris
Use synonyms
 is the Eiffel Tower
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
held
Verb problem
attracts
show examples
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 about 16,000 per day. The tower is surrounded by
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
 gallery
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the west
Use synonyms
part
Check wording
side
show examples
, the Left
bank park
Fix capitalization
Bank Park
show examples
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the south and
Sport
Correct article usage
the Sport
show examples
centre
Fix capitalization
Centre
show examples
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the west side. Art Gallery and Sport Centre welcome daily tourists
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 750 and 500 people respectively. Next to the
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 centre, there is Bir Hakeim Metro Station.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that a company should introduce a new restaurant in
Southern
Correct article usage
the Southern
show examples
part
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is located next to the
Eiffle
Correct your spelling
Eiffel
Tower
Punctuation problem
Tower,
show examples
 because there are far more visitors around the area, resulting in higher possibilities of customers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words paris, part with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: