Some people believe women should work while other say they should stay home and take care of the children. Discuss both views and provide your opinion

Nowadays, a lot of individuals claim that
female
Check wording
women
show examples
should have their own
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
Linking Words
on
Punctuation problem
; on
show examples
the other
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
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some folks believe they should stay
home
Use synonyms
and
up bring
Verb problem
raise
show examples
their
infants
Check wording
children
show examples
. From my perspective, I agree with
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
group. I will provide reasons for
this
Linking Words
belif
Correct your spelling
belief
.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
women
Use synonyms
are usually weaker than
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
physically.
Consyquently
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, they can not do hard jobs because they get tired soon
Punctuation problem
, scpecially
show examples
scpecially
Correct your spelling
especially
in
power demanding
Use the right word
power-demanding
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. To
iullstrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
this
Linking Words
face
Use the right word
fact
show examples
, in
exercise
Correct article usage
an exercise
show examples
magazine, scientists said "a professional woman boxer has the same strength
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
average man who never
exercised
Wrong verb form
exercises
show examples
in his life".
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by staying
Use synonyms
home
Punctuation problem
home,
show examples
they can focus on themselves more and be creative. Learning
news
Use the right word
new
show examples
things
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
always beneficial. Most successful
women
Use synonyms
start their
work
Use synonyms
in their house, and invent some vital things
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
our world.
For instance
Linking Words
, my mother stayed at
home
Use synonyms
to bring
up us
Correct word order
us up
show examples
, but she
also
Linking Words
started a painting class and now she has a big gallery with great income.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
staying
home
Use synonyms
can have a lot of
advantageouses
Correct your spelling
advantages
, staying
home
Use synonyms
for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time can be harmful mentally. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
housewife
Fix the agreement mistake
housewives
show examples
have
deperssion
Correct your spelling
depression
, and
this
Linking Words
is a huge subject. Doing a
repititive takse
Correct your spelling
repetitive task
can be really boring, and
this
Linking Words
kind of lifestyle can cause illness in
women
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in the early stage of marriage of my sister she did not
work
Use synonyms
at all. After a
while
Linking Words
, she became angry or ill for no reason.
Doctor
Correct article usage
The doctor
show examples
said that "she is a sociable person, and she needs to
work
Use synonyms
".
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
the other hand, working is not only about mental well-being. In
this
Linking Words
era, it is normal for a woman to
work
Use synonyms
and have a stable source of income. In the past
men
Punctuation problem
, men
show examples
worked and made money, but in recent
dacades everythings
Correct your spelling
decades everything
changed
due to
Linking Words
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
economic situation, and
also
Linking Words
a stable salary income for
women
Use synonyms
garentee
Correct your spelling
guarantees
their
independent
Replace the word
independence
show examples
. In conclusion, staying
home
Use synonyms
can have a lot of good
resutls
Correct your spelling
results
like bringing
better
Change preposition
up better
show examples
childern
Correct your spelling
children
and
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
healthy
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
because of
liberty
Correct article usage
the liberty
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and
indepedence
Correct your spelling
independence
of
women
Use synonyms
and
also
Linking Words
a
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
better mental condition
they
Punctuation problem
, they
show examples
should
work
Use synonyms
and have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
to
work
Use synonyms
.

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language
Fix many spelling and word errors so ideas are easy to read.
structure
Plan before you write. Use a short intro, two body parts for both views, then a clear ending that gives your view.
coherence
Make one idea in each sentence and use linking words to show order and cause.
content
Use examples that fit the point and explain them simply.
task response
The writer states a view and offers an example.
coherence
There is a clear concluding line that shows the writer's view.
coherence
Some links between ideas are used.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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