IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It has been argued that gift giving should not be encouraged, because money is often wasted on things that people do not like or want. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

In
this
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modernized
Use the right word
modernised
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 era, there are some concerns about giving
present
Fix the agreement mistake
presents
show examples
 as money is often spent on things that
people
Use synonyms
 do not like or want. In my opinion, I partly disagree with
this
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 statement
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era
getting
Punctuation problem
, getting
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along with
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 is a hard activity
to do
Verb problem
,
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 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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giving
present
Fix the agreement mistake
presents
show examples
 is used as a common way to create a relationship.
Due to
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 being overused,
people
Use synonyms
 often give
gifts
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 that are not valuable to the receiver
leading
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, leading
show examples
 to money being wasted.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 often only have relationships that can benefit them
as a result
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 of individualism
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as
Change preposition
apply
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a
consequence
Replace the word
consequently
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giving
Punctuation problem
, giving
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gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
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 is discouraged by some
people
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.
Besides
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,
people
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 sometimes are forced to prepare presents for
people
Use synonyms
 that they do not like
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
show examples
 to wasting money.
On the other hand
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, it is unwise to discourage giving
gifts
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 for several reasons. To be specific
giving
Punctuation problem
, giving
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gift
Correct article usage
a gift
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 is a way to express
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
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of
Change preposition
between
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 one to another and
also
Linking Words
 a common method to share in
Replace the word
Consequently
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consequence
Punctuation problem
consequence,
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this
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 can help
people
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 to strengthen their bond and
also
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 foster
close-knitted
Use the right word
close-knit
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 relationships
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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giving
Wrong verb form
give
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 givers and receivers
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of gratefulness. In general, giving
gifts
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 is a polite
behaviors
Replace the word
behaviour
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 in many
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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and
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, and
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 in some specific
nations’
Punctuation problem
nations,
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tradition
Correct article usage
the tradition
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giving
Change preposition
of giving
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gifts
Use synonyms
 is
also
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 listed as a
must do
Use the right word
must-do
show examples
 activity
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 it can help them to show their love and help them to understand
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 better. In conclusion, it is true to claim that giving
gifts
Use synonyms
 can have some negative impacts on
people
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 financially
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it is not recommended to forbid or discourage
this
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 activity
due to
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 the benefits it
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
.

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task
To improve task response, state a clear position and stay with it, then give stronger reasons and examples to support it.
coherence
To boost coherence, plan a clear flow: intro with your stance, 2-3 body paragraphs each with one main idea, and a short conclusion that restates the view.
coherence
Improve introduction and conclusion: mention the topic, your stance, and outline what you will cover; end with a firm closing sentence.
coherence
Support main points with specific examples or details rather than general statements; explain how gifts affect money, relationships, and culture.
language
Use simple, precise language and check sentence structure to reduce errors; vary sentence length to aid readability.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides of the issue.
structure
conclusion
A conclusion attempts to wrap up the view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sentimentality
  • tradition
  • consumerism
  • personalization
  • thoughtfulness
  • reciprocity
  • intentions
  • social norms
  • emotional connection
  • materialism
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