IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many parents these days choose to send their children studying abroad. What are the causes? Is it a positive or negative development?

In today's globalised world, many parents are sending their children
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad for higher studies. There are several reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 trend
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as high-quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 and
broaden
Replace the word
broad
show examples
 career
apportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
While
Linking Words
 I acknowledge that adjusting in a new country might
difficult
Verb problem
be difficult
show examples
due to
Linking Words
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 and language
bareers
Correct your spelling
barriers
, I believe it has several benefits that can help
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to grow professionally and personally.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, it is a positive development.
Although
Linking Words
 sending a child
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad, especially to developed
Use synonyms
nations
Punctuation problem
nations,
show examples
 can be expensive for parents, it equips students with extensive knowledge and provides numerous job opportunities. In various developing countries, students are unable to
educate
Replace the word
receive an education
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 inadequate
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
show examples
 or facilities
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
, parents
encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
 children to go
foreign
Change preposition
to foreign
show examples
nations
Use synonyms
 for their
graduations
Check wording
education
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a recent study in India,
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
system
Add a comma
system,
show examples
 a significant number of adolescents have moved to foreign countries in order to complete
post graduation
Use the right word
post-graduation
show examples
 courses. Apart from that, many developed
nations
Use synonyms
 not only offer study but
also
Linking Words
 give a chance to migrate permanently, making
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 secure.
In addition
Linking Words
, studying in a foreign country makes a student independent, which is
completely
Correct article usage
a completely
show examples
 positive development.During their studies
Add a comma
,
show examples
teenagers not only prepared for their
education
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 for external challenges
such
Linking Words
 as self-reliance for cleaning, cooking and socialising.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sending children
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
countries
Check wording
apply
show examples
allows them to explore new cultures and
broden
Correct your spelling
broaden
 their views about cultural diversity, making a cohesive society.
Although
Linking Words
sometime
Use the right word
sometimes
show examples
 being
international
Correct article usage
an international
show examples
 student can be challenging to adjust
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 environment, it can
also
Linking Words
 help in learning new languages.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 cognitive skills and
widen
Replace the word
wider
show examples
 career opportunities. In conclusion, the main reasons for abroad
education
Use synonyms
stems
Correct subject-verb agreement
stem
show examples
 from high-quality infrastructure and career opportunities provided by developed
nations
Use synonyms
. I believe that it is
completely a
Correct word order
a completely
show examples
 positive development as it not only provides high-standard
education
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 gives a chance to secure
future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix grammar and word form so the meaning is clear.
coherence
Make the flow smooth by linking ideas from one line to the next and from one paragraph to another.
content
Add strong proof for each point and give more than one clear example.
stance
The view on the topic is clear.
structure
There is a plan and a clear end in the essay.
example
A real example is used to back a claim.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: