IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 the most common way to travel around the world is by
planes
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plane
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. In spite of the crucial role it
has
Verb problem
plays
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 in human
lives
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 and businesses, it can be very harmful for the environment, which has made some
people
Use synonyms
 decide to
diminish
Verb problem
reduce
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 their flying
times
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time
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 annually. I firmly believe the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 decision dominate the drawbacks and will discuss it
further
Linking Words
 in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with,
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
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 by
planes
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plane
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 has an
enormous
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enormous,
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 disastrous influence on the environment. One two-hour flight can emit a considerable amount of CO2
which
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, which
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 is offset by planting almost 22 trees in a 100-year period. These CO2 emissions play a substantial role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming, which can lead to ecological balance disturbance and the loss of biodiversity.
As a result
Linking Words
, avoiding unnecessary fights or flying altogether can eventually prevent the destruction of our planet, even though the results do not emerge immediately.
On the other hand
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, reducing the number of times individuals travel by
planes
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plane
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 in a year can have some negative impacts on their
life
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lives
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 and businesses. To say the least, flying is the fastest and safest way of
transportation
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transportation,
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 whose invention is considered
as
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apply
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a revolution in humans' communication and
lives
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. By restricting the number of flights,
people
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 lose the opportunity to travel to remote, far-flung areas for either recreational or occupational
objectives
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purposes
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.
Furthermore
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, they cannot have the chance to visit their friends and families
,
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apply
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 if they
are living
Wrong verb form
live
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 far away from each other.
However
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, these disadvantages do not make
people
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's
lives
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paralyzed
Use the right word
paralysed
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, and I still believe it is so precious to reduce the number of flights to protect the environment. In conclusion, deciding to reduce the flight time numbers and choosing other ways of transportation can save the earth and is so beneficial that the drawbacks of that in
people
Use synonyms
's personal
lives
Use synonyms
 and jobs can be overlooked.

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coherence
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and say how it helps the task.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas fit together and check the order of ideas.
task
Give more exact facts or figures to back your point, and show a clear counter view.
grammar
Fix small grammar mistakes so the meaning is clear, like 'flight' not 'fight'.
structure
The essay shows a real view and has a clear stance.
coherence
There are good links between ideas in some parts.
content
The writer tries to use examples to show the effect on the planet.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
What to do next:
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