IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Tourism is often seen as a major contributor to environmental problems, such as pollution and the destruction of natural habitats. Others argue that tourism is important for economic development and can help fund conservation efforts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Tourism
Use synonyms
 is widely
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
pivotal
Correct article usage
a pivotal
show examples
 role in relaxing
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 mind from hectic life.
Tourism
Use synonyms
 is frequently seen as
predominant
Correct article usage
a predominant
show examples
cause
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 ecological obstacles like contamination and the devastation of natural habitats
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 proponents debate that
tourism
Use synonyms
 is indispensable for financial growth and can
also
Linking Words
 assist fund preservation efforts. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will explain both ideas and
then
Linking Words
 give my own verdict in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with,
tourism
Use synonyms
 has lots of drawbacks
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 pollution and many others. As
increment
Check wording
an increase
show examples
 in
trend
Correct article usage
the trend
show examples
 of
tourism
Use synonyms
 from few decades, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nations
started
Verb problem
have started
show examples
 to increase
urbanization
Use the right word
urbanisation
show examples
 areas and places for
tourist’s
Check wording
tourists’
show examples
 accommodation, which is the major reason for deforestation.
Thus
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
it cause
show examples
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
multitude
Correct article usage
a multitude
show examples
 of pollution
such
Linking Words
 as air pollution and soil erosion.
Moreover
Linking Words
, burning of fossil fuels is another reason, because of
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
employ
Replace the word
employment
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 transportation for travelling purposes consequences of
large scale
Use the right word
large-scale
show examples
 destruction of non-renewable sources
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are very crucial for basic human needs
such
Linking Words
 as oil, petroleum and natural gas.
However
Linking Words
, others perceived that it is
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
paramount for
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
a country's
show examples
 prosperity.
According to
Linking Words
 their perspective,
tourism
Use synonyms
embrace
Correct subject-verb agreement
embraces
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
providing employment to vast residents of that nation.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
such
Linking Words
 as
Maldives
Correct article usage
the Maldives
show examples
 economy depend on visitors, because ot is tourists
wondering
Use the right word
tourist-wondering
show examples
 place.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these countries save lots of money for preserving the environment and natural habitats
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that place will always
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 tourist attraction. In my conviction,
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
cause
Use synonyms
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 amount of contamination, as they depict negligence in maintaining the cleanliness of
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 areas. In ramification, as
tourism
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
often
Use synonyms
cause
Replace the word
causes
show examples
 environmental issues
due to
Linking Words
 excessive use of infrastructure
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 others
wrangle
Verb problem
argue
show examples
 that it
also
Linking Words
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
 role in protecting
ecological
Correct article usage
the ecological
show examples
 system and economic growth by giving employment to civilians.

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structure
Plan your essay. Use four parts: intro, two body parts, and a short end.
clarity
State both views, then give your own view in one clear line.
coherence
Use linking words like First, Also, But, However, For example to show how ideas connect.
grammar
Keep grammar simple. Check basic form with verbs and nouns.
content
Give one clear example for each view to back up your point.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides of the issue.
analysis
Some idea of why tourism can harm the land is there.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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