IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that charities should focus their assistance on individuals within their own country. Others argue that these organisations have a moral responsibility to help those in need regardless of where they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that social groups should work for the betterment of their own community,
while
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 others believe that help should be provided to anyone in need
despite
Punctuation problem
, despite
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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gender, religion or
country
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint. To commence with, the individuals who think that charities should concentrate on the issues of their own
country
Use synonyms
 believe in making their nation stronger and successful. They are the followers of
saying
Correct article usage
the saying
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, charity begins at home
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 which means we should first take care of our own problems before lending
hand
Correct article usage
a hand
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 to others.
For instance
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, during
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
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 pandemic, every
country
Use synonyms
 was suffering
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 hospitals did not have enough doctors, nurses, medication, or medical appliances to treat all the
people
Use synonyms
 in need.
Therefore
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,
instead
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 of helping other nations, every
country
Use synonyms
 took
incharge
Correct your spelling
charge
 of their society and helped each other in whatever way possible. On the flip side, the
people
Use synonyms
 who
support
Use synonyms
 the concept of helping those in need regardless of where they belong
treats
Correct subject-verb agreement
treat
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 the whole
world
Use synonyms
 as one place.
According to
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 their perspective, it is the moral responsibility of charitable societies to find
people
Use synonyms
 who need assistance and
support
Use synonyms
 them financially and emotionally to overcome
the
Correct article usage
apply
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difficult times.
For example
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, during
Correct article usage
the farmers
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farmers
Check wording
farmers'
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 protest in India,
people
Use synonyms
 from different countries
such
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 as Canada,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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,
Correct article usage
the Unites
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Unites
Replace the word
United
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 Kingdom, etc. came forward to
support
Use synonyms
 the farmers who feed the whole
world
Use synonyms
.
This
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further
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 forced the government in power to amend the MSP laws in favour of farmers.
Moreover
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, when Russia attacked
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Israel, Canadian
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
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 helped to feed the kids and
people
Use synonyms
 who were dying of starvation.
Consequently
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, in certain
situations
Add a comma
situations,
show examples
 social groups had to come together to make the
world
Use synonyms
 a better place.
To conclude
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, it is understandable from the above discussion that both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
situations have
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 own merits.
As per
Change preposition
In
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 my opinion, I strongly believe that when the
world
Use synonyms
 is in crisis,
then
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 the social groups should help their own
people
Use synonyms
 to overcome the hardship
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
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otherwise
Punctuation problem
otherwise,
show examples
 charitable
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 should
support
Use synonyms
 the individuals in need without thinking about their nationality.

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grammar
Improve grammar and punctuation to fix errors like incharge instead of in charge; fix spelling mistakes (Unites Kingdom, Israel), and use plain words.
organization
Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be clearly linked to the question; add topic sentences and better transitions.
content
Check facts and relevance of examples; ensure they support your point and are explained clearly.
vocabulary
Keep sentences short and use common words; aim for simple, direct language to fit IELTS style.
task response
Clear position is stated and both sides are discussed.
coherence
There is an effort to connect ideas with linking phrases and overall flow.
content
Examples are used to support points and show real-world links.
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