IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people’s lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many reasons for the way individuals dress today are influenced by
society
Check wording
society's
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
. Global
fashion
Use synonyms
 has
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
such
Linking Words
 a
strong
Correct word choice
great
show examples
 change
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
 lives. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement is a positive development of
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
habbit
Correct your spelling
habits
. Nowadays, many celebrities
influnced
Correct your spelling
influence
 the way
people
Use synonyms
 dress
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 their content
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media
, it
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
try to use
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
 that used by celebrities because they want many
people
Use synonyms
seen
Verb problem
to see
show examples
 them by using the same
fashion
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 famous
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 buy
dress
Correct article usage
a dress
show examples
 that
used
Verb problem
is used
show examples
 by
Correct article usage
an influncer
show examples
influncer
Correct your spelling
influencer
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 it
for being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
 seen by others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, global
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
 give a good
fashion
Use synonyms
 and make them more confident by
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 global
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
because
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. To illustrate, they feel ugly when
do
Correct pronoun usage
they do
show examples
 not use
trend
Replace the word
trendy
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
, whilst they have to look beautiful in front of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, global
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a strong influence on
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 lives
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 celebrities and
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are some external aspects that
people
Use synonyms
influenced
Verb problem
are influenced
show examples
 by global
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many parents feel happy when their children
u
Correct your spelling
are

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grammar
Fix many grammar and spelling errors. Use short, clear sentences.
structure
Make a clear start by stating your view. Then give two or more reasons.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, next, also, but, so, then.
content
Give more facts or real examples. Explain how fashion trends change life.
grammar
Check spelling of 'fashion' and 'influence', and use 'influenced' correctly.
content
Some ideas on how social media and famous people shape dress choice.
content
Also, you try to show how trends can boost confidence.
cohesion
You try to use linking words to move from one idea to another.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • global
  • trend
  • fashion
  • style
  • fashionable
  • influencer
  • celebrity
  • brand
  • access
  • marketing
  • popular
  • worldwide
  • connect
  • showcase
  • event
  • clothing
  • culture
  • rise
  • buy
What to do next:
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