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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people’s lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
 are always
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
around people these days, especially teenagers. Keeping up with
fashion
Use synonyms
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 is like two sides of a coin, it would be great for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 bad for them.
Initially
Linking Words
,
lets
Use the right word
let's
show examples
 discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the positive impact
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
fashion
Use synonyms
 is one of the most noticeable
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 that
could
Wrong verb form
can be
show examples
 easily seen by people, it might help our first impression
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them.
For instance
Linking Words
,
lets
Use the right word
let's
show examples
 say we're a lawyer meeting our client at
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 place, we don't want to dress
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 streetwear
clothes
Use synonyms
, just because
we
Verb problem
we're
show examples
 afraid to miss the
fashion
Use synonyms
 trend that has been going on at that time, so
then
Linking Words
 our
client trust's
Correct word order
client's trust
show examples
 would easily
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 just based on our rebel look.
Thus
Linking Words
, we have to match the
clothes
Use synonyms
 with the occasion that we are facing. For
this
Linking Words
 case, we have to wear a suit or tuxedo to meet our client aiming for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great first impression. Moving on to the opposite view for
this
Linking Words
 case, as I said earlier,
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 some negative impacts
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
:
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
eliminates
Wrong verb form
eliminating
show examples
 the norm of garments in some countries to keep up with
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
, forgetting the traditional clothing, and many more. To make it clear,
lets
Use the right word
let's
show examples
 take
some
Correct determiner usage
an
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 example. In Indonesia,
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
 are
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 peak at the moment. These days, a lot of
indonesians
Fix capitalization
Indonesians
show examples
 wear something crazy to catch up with
fashion
Use synonyms
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
, we
Punctuation problem
. We
show examples
 may see some casual style, sporty, classy, and even crazy demon style
clothes
Use synonyms
. For context, Indonesia has a strict tradition about wearing something. Especially to a woman. Women
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 to cover all of
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 upper body with their
clothes
Use synonyms
, so if you wear
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
too open
clothes
Use synonyms
, that's considered not respecting the
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
 will always bring us two sides of
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
. We just have to dress up wisely, wear
clothes
Use synonyms
 that
suitable
Verb problem
are suitable
show examples
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 its
ocassion
Correct your spelling
occasion
. We just have to respect the
norm
Fix the agreement mistake
norms
show examples
 that apply in certain countries.

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task response
Plan your writing. Start with a clear idea. State whether you think global fashion is good, bad, or both. Then give two or three reasons and one small example. End with a short wrap up.
structure
Make a plan before you write. Each paragraph should have one main idea. Use a topic sentence at the start of each paragraph.
grammar
Fix grammar and word use. Watch for 'lets' vs 'let's', 'ourself' vs 'ourselves', 'trust's' and similar errors. Use simple, clear words.
cohesion
Use linking words to join ideas: 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example'.
content
Give clear examples from life or real current trends you know.
editing
Check spelling and punctuation. Use big letters for proper nouns.
content balance
You show two sides to the issue, not just one.
examples
You use an example from life (a lawyer meeting a client) to show a point.
conclusion
There is a closing line that sums up your idea.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • global
  • trend
  • fashion
  • style
  • fashionable
  • influencer
  • celebrity
  • brand
  • access
  • marketing
  • popular
  • worldwide
  • connect
  • showcase
  • event
  • clothing
  • culture
  • rise
  • buy
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