IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Higher education seems to have been universalized as more and more people have the chance to pursue it. While some welcome this emerging change, others raise concerns over some unexpected consequences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many individuals argue about
Correct article usage
the popularization
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popularization
Replace the word
popularisation
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 of higher
education
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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someone
Use the right word
some
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thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that
this
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 can
cause
Use synonyms
 some consequences,
otherwise
Linking Words
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that
this
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 is a good trend. In my view
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
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 trend
more
Verb problem
is more
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 bad than good for reasons which I will outline in the following essay. On the
on
Use the right word
one
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 hand, a lot of
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 with
high
Correct word choice
higher
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education
Use synonyms
 can
add
Verb problem
provide
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work
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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differents
Use the right word
different
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 spheres, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 would not be enough
Use synonyms
work places
Use the right word
workplaces
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 for them.
This
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 problem can
cause
Use synonyms
 joblessness among citizens.
For instance
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, in Ukraine and other poor countries, it is very popular to attend university, but after graduation, people usually do not
work
Use synonyms
 in their chosen field,
judges
Check wording
but instead
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 as baristas
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 doctors as managers.
This
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trendency
Correct your spelling
trend
 causes the devaluation of
education
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if
education
Use synonyms
will be
Wrong verb form
is
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 only for the chosen
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
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one
Punctuation problem
one,
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 it will be harder to choose the best workers,
due to
Linking Words
they
Use the right word
the
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 limited quantity. When their amount is
Correct article usage
a thousand
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thousand
Punctuation problem
thousand,
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 you can choose the best one, which can fit
ideal
Replace the word
ideally
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 for your group, but sometimes you should keep a lazy and a poor professional because of his rarity.
For example
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, my
cousins
Check wording
cousin's
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work
Use synonyms
 is rare
he
Punctuation problem
; he
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 is working in the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 he
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 quit it, because they can not find him replacement.
This
Linking Words
Use synonyms
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 some
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
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to
Change preposition
for
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 people with unique jobs. In conclusion, I believe that
education
Use synonyms
 should be easily accessible, but should not be mandatory for everyone
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 in fact can
cause
Use synonyms
 problems
to
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. The main problem is oversupply of workers or,
conversely
Linking Words
, insufficient supply, so it is important to find a happy medium.

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weakness
You state a view and try to talk about both sides, but the answer is not clear and full. It does not fully meet the task.
improvement
Make a clear plan. In the intro, state your view. In the body, give two or three main points with reasons and some examples. End with a clear conclusion that repeats your view.
improvement
Make ideas flow. Use linking words like first, also, but, so. Start each paragraph with a clear idea.
improvement
Use simple examples that fit your point. Show how the idea works in real life.
strength
There is a clear view and a sense of two sides being discussed.
strength
The essay has an ending that states a view.
strength
Some examples show real places or facts.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • education
  • study
  • job
  • work
  • money
  • cost
  • debt
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • problem
  • solution
  • idea
  • change
  • grow
  • skill
  • learn
  • plan
  • access
  • quality
  • equality
  • policy
  • life
  • future
  • view
  • discuss
  • balance
  • practical
  • theory
  • guide
  • support
  • open
  • afford
  • training
  • opportunity
What to do next:
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