IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society How can we create an ideal society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Recently, A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 have been establishing
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 perfect
society
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it
always
Verb problem
has always
show examples
does
Verb problem
failed
show examples
 not
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
. I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that
diffrenence
Correct your spelling
difference
 between
people
Use synonyms
 is very important, so we
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 not
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be ideal at
every thing
Use the right word
everything
show examples
. But how can we improve our
atmospher
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
?
First,
Linking Words
we can do that by
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
 our
relativship
Correct your spelling
relationship
 and
assest
Correct your spelling
assessing
 each
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
. The
effictive
Correct your spelling
effective
society
Use synonyms
depands
Correct your spelling
depends
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good communication between
people
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 with family. If we deal well, we can improve our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and we can do anything together.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
somone
Correct your spelling
someone
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 goal for the world, he can
communicat easly
Correct your spelling
communicate easily
 and
comfirtably
Correct your spelling
comfortably
 with
people
Use synonyms
 to
acheve
Correct your spelling
achieve
 it.
Secound
Correct your spelling
Second
, we have to know and
accsep
Correct your spelling
accept
 the
differnce
Correct your spelling
difference
 between us.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 try to use it
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
devolope
Correct your spelling
develop
 the
socity
Correct your spelling
society
. When we understand how
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
signifcant
Correct your spelling
significant
, we will be able to make our
socity
Correct your spelling
society
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
better and
beutiful
Correct your spelling
beautiful
. Sometimes I have
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 mind and
another
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 have
Correct article usage
a greeter
show examples
greeter
Use the right word
greater
show examples
 one, so
throgh
Correct your spelling
through
 that we can
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 from ourselves.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 look for the ethic.
For example
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 someone
apply
Correct subject-verb agreement
applies
show examples
 to
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 and he is not
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 same
ethic
Check wording
ethnicity
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not mean he does not
the
Verb problem
have the
show examples
 ability to be
empoloyment
Correct your spelling
employed
 in
this
Linking Words
organization
Use the right word
organisation
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, creating an ideal
society
Use synonyms
 is not easy or
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 a few days. We should
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
change from us than the
socity
Correct your spelling
society
 because we have to be more
opinly
Correct your spelling
open
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
 and deal with them kindly as we want. These things can help us to
devolopment
Correct your spelling
develop
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great
society
Use synonyms
.

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language
Write in simple words. Fix big spelling and grammar mistakes. Use one idea per paragraph.
structure
Make a short intro that says what you will talk about, then 3 body parts, and a short end.
coherence
Give clear examples and show how they help your point. Keep ideas tied to your main goal.
idea
You try to discuss how to build a fair society and use steps.
conclusion
You use a closing line 'To sum up' to finish.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ideal society
  • equality
  • social justice
  • sustainable practices
  • community engagement
  • economic stability
  • cultural diversity
  • accessible healthcare
  • fair justice system
  • educational opportunities
  • environmental sustainability
  • active participation
  • inclusive society
What to do next:
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