IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Admission
fee
Use synonyms
 for
enetring
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entering
museums
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is
Verb problem
apply
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definietly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 has its advantages for the
museum
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andfor
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and for
 the individual experience
,there
Punctuation problem
. There
show examples
 is no doubt that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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this
Linking Words
 claim is true
but
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, but
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ont
Correct your spelling
on
 the other
hand
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hand,
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 there
is
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are
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 many people who argue that it should be free
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, espacily
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espacily
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especially
that
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since
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 the point of the
museums
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 is entirely cultural education
,
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. This
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this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and provide a conclusion. Charging
fee
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 for visitors in
museums
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 has advantages that reflect on the service,the presentiton of the exhibits and making the individual walk more convenient without the need of a tour guides,
for example
Linking Words
 if the visitor do not want to have the group tour there is too many ways in the modern muesum where they charge
fee
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 for the enternce,
such
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 as the virtual reality experience,podcast contains informaiton about the displays that the visitor could download before coming to the
museum
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,ect. The disadvantge of asking the people for a
fee
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 would much depend a lot on the cultural cost ,it will definitely effect on people who think about visit the
museum
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 ,they may rethink if the visit worth it or not,perhaps it is a famliy of five and it will be a bit expensive to buy tickets to whole family,all
this
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 reasons may be the reason why
museums
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 should not ask for
fee
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.
To sum up
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, the advantages outweigh the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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due to
Linking Words
 the need for all the individual
expereince suplys
Correct your spelling
experience supplies
, it will
definitley
Correct your spelling
definitely
 advantage the
museum
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ont
Correct your spelling
on
 the financial aspect,to
devlope
Correct your spelling
develop
 and to keep up with the visitor
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
.

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planning
Make a clear plan before you write. Use a simple order: first, next, and then, finally.
development
Give one clear example for each view. Use short facts or easy numbers to show your idea.
language
Check spelling and use short lines. Try to write in short, clean sentences.
structure
End with a clear view. Do not mix ideas. Keep one main point in mind.
introduction
In the intro, say what you will talk about and give the topic.
content
You mention both sides of the issue.
structure
There is a small end that shows the writer's view.
content
You give a sample about a family to show cost.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
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