IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many parts of world,children's lives were very different from today.What do you think were the advantage and disadvantages of life for children in the past?

Lifestyle
Correct article usage
The lifestyle
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
 nowadays is completely different from the past in many regions of the world. In the
past
Punctuation problem
past,
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 they were engaged in many physical activities
as compare
Change preposition
compared
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 to the present
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 the following essay will highlight the key advantages and disadvantages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 transformation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the advancements in technology and the modern era
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 made every
ammenity
Correct your spelling
amenity
 just one click away for the
children
Use synonyms
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
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 to limiting physical movement in comparison with the past.
Thus
Linking Words
, resulting in low exposure to
outside
Correct article usage
the outside
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 world and increasing levels of obesity.
For instance
Linking Words
,
accorsing
Correct your spelling
according
 to
University
Correct article usage
the University
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 of California, pupil spend 90% of their time in front of screens
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
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 to which obesity is increasing at an alarming rate
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
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 with
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in poor social skills
due to
Linking Words
 being in
isolated
Correct article usage
an isolated
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 environment.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
modernization
Use the right word
modernisation
show examples
 has
also
Linking Words
 helped the
childrent
Correct your spelling
children
 in various ways. Modern lifestyle allows the students to get
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 possible education in their own comfort zone through advanced education and training platforms. Earlier
students
Punctuation problem
, students
show examples
 had to physically go across the seas in order to get that education.
For example
Linking Words
, back in the
day
Punctuation problem
day,
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 had to step out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their comfort
in
Check wording
zone in
show examples
 order to
prestigious
Verb problem
attend prestigious
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 schools
such
Linking Words
 as Harwards or Oxford
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in
todays
Check wording
today's
show examples
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 they choose distance
leaarning
Correct your spelling
learning
 and take the same courses from their own homes. In conclusion,
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 lifestyle
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 have some disadvantages for the
children
Use synonyms
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
, they can be managed.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the advantages that
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 era brings to the students outweigh the disadvantages by offering the
convienience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 of flexible learning
oppourtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.

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Task response
Make a clear plan before you write. Put the view at the start and list the points you will talk about.
Coherence and cohesion
Use short, simple sentence. Do not put many ideas in one long line.
Language
Fix spelling and name words right. This will help the reader see your point.
Content
Add real and clear examples that prove your idea.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to join ideas, like also, but, so, for example.
structure
There is a clear plan with intro, body and end.
coherence
The essay stays on the topic and uses link words.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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