IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaurs, dodos, etc.) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that dinosaurs or dodos became extinct because of natural processes, so there is no need to try to prevent
this
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 from happening.
While
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 oppose
this
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 notion, I strongly argue in favour because it was
nature
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 and we should not fix it. On the one hand,
while
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 there might be some
reasons
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 why
people
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 should try to prevent
this
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fromthis
Correct your spelling
from
 happening, one of the primary
reasons
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 is that they think that it may happen with other creatures in the world. Because some animals have already become extinct, like the passenger pigeon in 1914,
as well as
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 some animals are endangered, including the giant panda, leopard and sea turtles. There is a very high chance of losing
this
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 kind of animal because the number of them is very few. It is no secret that animals play a big role in our lives for providing food, clothes even medicine.
Thus
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, for these
reasons
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, it is beneficial to prevent it. Despite these arguments,
however
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, I believe there is no purpose
to prevent
Change preposition
in preventing
show examples
this
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 from happening. First of all, it was a natural process which
people
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 just cannot fix or do something. To be clear, if
nature
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 wants, it will do it.
For example
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,
nature
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 does not ask
people
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, “Do you want rain today or not?”
it
Fix capitalization
It
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 just rains.
As a result
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, individuals might waste their valuable time;
instead
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 of doing
it
Punctuation problem
it,
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 they can spend time wisely. For these
reasons
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,
people
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 should focus on other things. In conclusion,
although
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 I realise that there are visible purposes to prevent it, I maintain that it will be more beneficial when
people
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 concentrate on other things, as it is in
nature
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.

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task
Make your stance very clear in every paragraph and keep it consistent.
structure
content
You use some real examples like the passenger pigeon to back a point.
structure
There is an effort to show links between ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecosystems
  • environmental ethics
  • habitat destruction
  • anthropogenic impact
  • ecological balance
  • natural selection
  • wildlife preservation
  • genetic diversity
  • endangered species
  • biological heritage
  • sustainable practices
  • Anthropocene
  • cascade effects
  • intrinsic value
  • habitat conservation
  • extinction crisis
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