IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some museum and art galeries charge admission fees while other have free entry. Do you think the advantages of admission fees outweigh the disadvantages.

Nowadays,people need to pay for the admission expenses for some of the museums and art
galaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
,but the others are free to have an
apointment
Correct your spelling
appointment
 or walk in directly.In my opinion,the
adavantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of admission outweigh the disadvantages. Charging fees to enter the museums and art galleries is beneficial to improve the quality of their
sevices
Correct your spelling
services
.
Museum
Correct article usage
A museum
show examples
 is a kind of social service used for
collection
Replace the word
collecting
show examples
 and visiting for citizens.So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it needs
much
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
show examples
 money to remain and improve facilities inside the place.It cannot provide
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 experience without enough financial
surport
Correct your spelling
support
.If the visitors pay for it every time,it can strengthen the potential development as time goes by. Citizens
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 charged for admission fee can be more
cherished
Replace the word
cherish
show examples
the opportunities to
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
participant
Replace the word
participate
show examples
 in the activities coming from the
organizer
Use the right word
organiser
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because they prefer to visit it
carefully
Rephrase
as carefully
show examples
 as possible
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they can in order
to not
Correct word order
not to
show examples
 waste the value of the tickets.
However
Linking Words
,they will not pay more attention to
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visit
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it if it is free to come in at any time.And it can
also
Linking Words
 easily make the slots full and the building
crowed
Use the right word
crowded
show examples
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
show examples
 to
reduce
Wrong verb form
a reduction in
show examples
 the
possibilies
Correct your spelling
possibilities
 for the group who desire to visit. In conclusion, it is more valuable not only for visitors to spend money on a museum sightseeing tour but
also
Linking Words
 for museum to improve their
sevice
Correct your spelling
service
 standards.

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structure
Plan a clear start. Write one line that states your view and what you will show in the essay.
content
Give both sides. Say a good reason for why the above view is right and add a small example to show it.
language
Use short and plain words. Keep math and long sentences to a minimum to avoid mistakes.
content
The writer shows an opinion in the first part.
content
There are ideas from real life, like crowding when the place is full.
effort
Effort is shown to argue the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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