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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the Internet and live without ant face-to- face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development in your opinion?

There is no doubt that in our new
world
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, many things have changed. Jobs and talking with other individuals online and living in a virtual
world
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 without seeing one another, I strongly believe that they should make efforts to change their situation for long-term growth and happiness
To begin
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 with, one of the main reasons for
this
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 trend is the growth of
technology
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 and the industrial
world
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.
This
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 is because phones and computers have become the main sources of communication and shopping nowadays, and it is way more comfortable than meeting in
person
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.
For instance
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, A recent study from the
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
University of
Technology
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 showed that over the past decade, the number of
people
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 meeting in
person
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 has decreased by 36% and
this
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 is
due to
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 the development of these devices.
Furthermore
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, Not needing to get in
person
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 to accomplish simple tasks has helped a lot over the past few years,
such
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 as buying some unique things that are not available cities stores, or needing to meet in
person
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 to talk about Important things, which can be quite difficult for
people
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 who do not live in the same cities,
However
Linking Words
technology
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 has helped a lot in these matters.
For example
Linking Words
, shopping can be done easily online and delivered on the same day,
people
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 who live in
a
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apply
show examples
different global
can
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regions can
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 talk to each other online without the need to meet.
For instance
Linking Words
, A recent study showed that an app called Zoom is the most used app around the
world
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 400 million
people
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 using it per month. In conclusion, many
people
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 now prefer to finish their tasks on the internet and think that not everything needs to be done in
person
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, it
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
 is my firm belief that
technology
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 has a huge impact on that, and I believe that
this
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 is a positive development that should continue

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task
State your view clearly in the first sentence. say you think the change is good or bad.
coherence
Plan what you will say. Use one idea in each paragraph and link ideas with simple words.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Fix mistakes and make sentences shorter.
content
The essay keeps a clear main idea that online life can be good.
structure
It uses linking words to show steps of thoughts.
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