IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that having
competition
Use synonyms
 has good
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 in educational,work and daily
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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.
While
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 think cooperating produces more pros.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and give a final thought. On one hand,
competition
Use synonyms
release
Correct subject-verb agreement
releases
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 more
the
Change preposition
of the
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 need to get better.
Although
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 it can be seen as selfish,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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 many students and workers have the urge to seek academic validation and “the employee of the month” image.
This
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 can be beneficial to encourage
people
Use synonyms
on doing
Change preposition
to do
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 better. To upgrade
them selves
Use the right word
themselves
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 day by day. As an
example
Add a comma
example,
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 a lot of individuals advise
to grow
Wrong verb form
growing
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 in an environment that can push you into being better. My mom has been telling me to surround myself with students whom has the best grades in college. Other
people
Use synonyms
 think that the success and outstanding achievement that come after
competition
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 can
also
Linking Words
 be the reason why you lose it. Things might take the wrong turn when
Competition
Use synonyms
 is included. The jealousy and mind playing games which
people
Use synonyms
 use as a way
of
Change preposition
apply
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to get what they want. Can put you and your fellows into stress and
a non ending
Replace the word
an endless
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 pressure. Which can lead
feeling
Change preposition
to feeling
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 burnt out. In my opinion, I think that there’s no harm in
competition
Use synonyms
 as long
it’s
Correct word choice
as it’s
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 in a manageable, decent form. That doesn’t
release
Verb problem
cause
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 harm to you or to your mates. And if you can’t
compete
Punctuation problem
compete,
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 it’s better to move into a more
cooperative
Punctuation problem
cooperative,
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 supportive work/study environment.

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Say your view in the first line and keep one idea per paragraph.
structure
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and link words to show flow.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences. Check grammar and word order to avoid mistakes.
vocabulary
Use correct form of words and join ideas well; fix small miss phrases like 'educational, work' to 'educational, work'.
content
The essay shows you think about both sides and you give your view.
structure
There is an idea of a start and end in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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