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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that children should learn languages which is more important, while others think that studying science at school is important. Discuss both side.

Education plays a crucial
role
Use synonyms
 in a child's development. Some individuals believe that studying science is more important for
youngones
Correct your spelling
young ones
,
whereas
Linking Words
 others opine that
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
language
Use synonyms
 should be given more priority.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
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 both play a vital
role
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 in
kid's
Check wording
kids'
show examples
 progress, where advanced
language
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 skills help build their confidence, and scientific view answers their curiosity.
Firstly
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, learning
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language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 plays a prime
role
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 in a student's
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
. As it boosts their
commmunication
Correct your spelling
communication
 skills, which helps them to express their ideas
confidentaly
Correct your spelling
confidently
.
Therefore
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, contributing to their
overall
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 development.
For instance
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,
according to
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 a survey conducted by
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of Alberta, learners enrolled in
language
Use synonyms
 courses were reported to be more confident and welcoming than those who did not study it.
On the other hand
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,
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Along
Fix capitalization
along
show examples
 with
language
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, knowing science is
also
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 important for survival. A scientific mind has
natural
Correct article usage
a natural
show examples
problem solving
Use the right word
problem-solving
show examples
 tendency.
Moreover
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,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 helps youngsters to understand the logic behind every regular to extraordinary
phenomenan
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
.
For instance
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, I often get bombarded with
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of questions from my
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
, a scientific
explation
Correct your spelling
explanation
 not only answers their question but
also
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 creates a temptation
of knowing
Change preposition
to know
show examples
 more in their brains.
Thus
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, helping to enhance their thinking process. In conclusion,
language
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 skills and science both play an equally important
role
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 in
student's
Check wording
students'
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. One gives them freedom to express their ideas,
whereas
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 the other helps them to create those ideas
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 both work hand-in-hand for their advancement.

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grammar
Spelling and grammar have many errors. Fix common problems to be clear.
structure
Each para should have a clear topic sentence and one main idea.
cohesion
Use simple links to join ideas, like and, but, also, so.
content
Give clear and strong examples that relate to the point.
structure
The essay shows both sides and ends with a clear conclusion.
content
There is a sense of how language and science can help a child grow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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