IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people arge that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

In today`s fast-paced world, people are spending higher
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 on
space
Use synonyms
research
Use synonyms
anually
Correct your spelling
annually
,
wjhile
Correct your spelling
while
 everyone
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 that
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on poverty and education to improve lifestyle. In my opinion,
dollers
Correct your spelling
dollars
 spent by
space
Use synonyms
 authorities are not
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
,
Correct article usage
the spaceshuttle
show examples
spaceshuttle
Correct your spelling
space shuttle
 may provide
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 and can
also
Linking Words
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
 better
life
Use synonyms
 standards.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the government authorities are giving
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher
budget
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
 agency.
In addition
Linking Words
,
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 on
outer
Correct article usage
the outer
show examples
 orbit of
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
earth
Use the right word
Earth's
show examples
atmoshphere peovided
Correct your spelling
atmosphere provided
 advanced communication
technology
Use synonyms
 for humans
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as GPS, wireless
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
space
Use synonyms
rocket
Fix the agreement mistake
rockets
show examples
 may create human
life
Use synonyms
 better.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
research
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 and launching more satellites is helpful in future for every field
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as medical, science, and electronics, so
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 can lead mankind to
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 future.
For example
Linking Words
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research
Use synonyms
 done by Western Sydney University which says
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 expense of
space
Use synonyms
 agencies
such
Linking Words
 as NASA and ISRO
developed
Verb problem
has developed
show examples
 human lives with so many gadgets and
Use synonyms
technology
Fix the agreement mistake
technologies
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 should be
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on poor people and their improvements.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
budget
Use synonyms
 may
create
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
 better without any doubt, but
this
Linking Words
 can lead to
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of any particular area or community.
However
Linking Words
,
space
Use synonyms
 development can
Verb problem
be benificial
show examples
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 world.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the ministry
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
saprate
Correct your spelling
separate
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
show examples
 for human and poverty, so
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 spent may not affect the humans in
Correct article usage
a nagative
show examples
nagative
Correct your spelling
negative
 way.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was an article in the Times of India which
mention
Correct subject-verb agreement
mentions
show examples
 the government has the responsibility of
devloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 human
life
Use synonyms
,
technology
Use synonyms
 and many other
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 as well, so they divide the
budget
Use synonyms
 according
nations
Check wording
nation's
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
. In conclusion,
money
Use synonyms
 spent
behind
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
Use synonyms
research
Use synonyms
 is not
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
, because it can
be
Correct word order
also be
show examples
also
Linking Words
 helpful to
imrpove
Correct your spelling
improve
 human
life
Use synonyms
 standards,
while
Linking Words
 the authorities have another
budget
Use synonyms
 for the same purpose of improving lifestyle.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Be clear in your view at the start. Say if you agree or not in the first line.
coherence
Keep one main idea per paragraph and grow it with easy facts.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, also, however.
language
Use only simple words. Check spelling of common words.
task
Give one clear example that fits your reason.
planning
Plan before you write. Write short, clear sentences.
idea
You show a view that space money can have use, and you give a reason that it may lead to better tech.
cohesion
You use some link words to show contrast, like on the other hand and so.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: