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Band 7

The line graph illustrates the number of people assigned to different types of activities such as dramatic, music, poetry, Tennies, and swimming in Newport city between 2000 and 2020.

The line graph illustrates the number of people assigned to different types of activities such as dramatic, music, poetry, Tennies, and swimming in Newport city between 2000 and 2020.
The line graph illustrates the
number
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 of
people
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 assigned to different types of activities
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as dramatic, music, poetry, Tennies, and swimming in Newport city between 2000 and 2020.
Overall
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, the
number
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 of
participants
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 was significantly increased in swimming and tennis.
whereas
Linking Words
 music and dramatic
participants
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 remained the same.
In contrast
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, poetry
participants
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 declined sharply until the end of the period. In 2000, the
number
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 of tennis
participants
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 was around 15%
then
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 after 2010, the
participants
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 sharply increased to the end of the period and reached their peak of around 50
people
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. Swimming activity started in 2005, and the
number
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 of
participants
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 jumped from 0 to 13 in 2020. Dramatics and Music activities started with 35 and 65
people
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, and
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period, they were the same.
In contrast
Linking Words
, poetry
people
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 was below 30
people
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,
then
Linking Words
 it dramatically decreased after 2005 and reached a low point in 2020 with almost zero
participants
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 3 times.
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