IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people’s lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fashion
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 and
trends
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where
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were
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 popular all around the
world
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among
Change preposition
throughout
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 all decades
,
Punctuation problem
. People
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people
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always
Verb problem
have always
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interested
Verb problem
been interested
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 in
fashion
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 and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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trends
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, the
Punctuation problem
. The
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 development of how
people
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get
Verb problem
are
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effected
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affected
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 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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trends
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 nowadays is completely
defirent
Correct your spelling
different
 from the past. First of all, in the past
people
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 were following the
fashion
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 and
trends
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 in elegant way and
fashion
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 was very classy and for certain kind of
people
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, not all the
people
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 around the
world
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 where able to look or to have access to what was popular in his country or around the
world
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, even though not to many
people
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 where interested in
trends
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 maybe because of lack in knowledge or quality of life,
furthermore
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,
people
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 was in almost two segments rich and poor
also
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 poor
people
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 was represented the most in society so they where busy working and get their money to support thier families, unlike the rich
people
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 who travels around the
world
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 and have the time to look and discover others culture and
fashion
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 and leatest
trends
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. From my perspective, nowadays
people
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 no matter what segment they belonge in the society whether they are rich, middle or poor they could easily have access to latest
fashion
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 and
trends
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 news to due availability of the internet around the
world
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 even those
people
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 who are not interested in it, kids and teenagers are affected by social media influencer which was not available in the past. The
increase
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increasing
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 number of bloggers and media influencers
become
Verb problem
has
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negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 impact on
perants
Correct your spelling
parents
 and
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people
Check wording
people's
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 lifestyles, most
people
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 are blindly following the influencers and
try
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trying
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 to
copying
Wrong verb form
copy
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 them.
Finally
Linking Words
,
fashion
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 and
trends
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where
Use the right word
were
show examples
 developed from
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 to nowadays in almost
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 way when
people
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 try to only copy others without being able to differentiate between what suits them or not.

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planning
Make a plan before you write. Start with a small intro, then list your main ideas in order, and end with a short conclusion.
grammar
Use simple, clear grammar. Check verb forms and use 'was' and 'were' correctly.
content
Give real facts or events from life to back your points. Name a place or thing you saw or heard.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go from one to another, like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however'.
task response
Stick to the question. Say if global fashion is good or bad, and explain why with one or two key reasons.
content
The essay shows a good idea of past vs present fashion.
analysis
It mentions how social media can affect choice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • global
  • trend
  • fashion
  • style
  • fashionable
  • influencer
  • celebrity
  • brand
  • access
  • marketing
  • popular
  • worldwide
  • connect
  • showcase
  • event
  • clothing
  • culture
  • rise
  • buy
What to do next:
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