IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many students do part-time work while they are studying. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowsaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, many students are studying
while
Linking Words
 they do part-time jobs
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their free time. These can have both advantages and disadvantages. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will
discusse
Correct your spelling
discuss
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 a large number of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 doing
work
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they
study
Use synonyms
 have more pros
suah
Correct your spelling
such
 as
expirence
Correct your spelling
experience
,
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in University of Canberra has
survey
Correct article usage
a survey
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 three hundred pupils
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 80% do part-time jobs. The
most
Correct word choice
main
show examples
 reason that
say
Correct pronoun usage
they say
show examples
 they do it
to
Verb problem
is to
show examples
relaxed
Wrong verb form
relax
show examples
 their
emotional
Replace the word
emotions
show examples
 from their classes,
while
Linking Words
 some of them said they want to have
expireance
Correct your spelling
experience
 to
pratices
Correct your spelling
practice
 their skill. These can
showed
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
adavantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
another
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 has some disadvantages
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 doing jobs. Many students come from different background and they might have to
work
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 support themself
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some people came from poor families and need to earn money to pay their
study
Use synonyms
 fee or accommodation by themself. These can lead them
working
Wrong verb form
to work
show examples
hard
Replace the word
harder
show examples
 than focus on their studies, some people have to
dropped
Wrong verb form
drop
show examples
 their course to continue their
work
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, working and studies
both
Verb problem
are both
show examples
 importances and have more benefits from
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. to explain
this
Linking Words
, working
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
 can make good opportunities in the future
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
 make more communities to exchange
knowaladges
Correct your spelling
knowledge
. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, these topic can
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 advantages and disadvantages
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on how they
organised
Wrong verb form
organise
show examples
 their time between
study
Use synonyms
 and
work
Use synonyms
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 they can list the
piorities
Correct your spelling
priorities
 themself.

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Task response
Make your view clear in the first part. Say if you think part time work is mainly good or bad.
Structure
Use a plan. Intro, 2 body parts, and a short ending.
Language
Fix spelling and form. Use simple grammar and simple words.
Examples
Give one or two clear examples that show your point.
Coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit. Words like 'also', 'but', 'in addition' help.
Content
Some idea of both sides is seen.
Structure
Use of 'First', 'However', 'In conclusion' shows a plan.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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