IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries around the world, rural populations are moving to cities, leading to a decline in the rural population. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

There is no denying
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that rural individuals leave their homes in many nations, looking for a quality life in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
cities
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that there are many benefits when
people
Use synonyms
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 from
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 to large
cities
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
also there is
Correct word order
there is also
show examples
 an argument that there are
negatives
Fix the agreement mistake
negative
show examples
 aspects
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 immigration.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
analyses
Wrong verb form
analyse
show examples
 both
positives
Fix the agreement mistake
positive
show examples
 and
negatives
Fix the agreement mistake
negative
show examples
 developments of
this
Linking Words
 trend, and present my opinion. On one hand, families everywhere struggle to provide a decent life for
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 and their children, especially those
lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in rural and
suburbs
Replace the word
suburban
show examples
 regions.
In other words
Linking Words
, the majority of villages which are away from developmental areas
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 lack
of
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apply
show examples
many quality services,
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education, security.
Also
Linking Words
, rural
people
Use synonyms
suffering
Verb problem
are suffering
show examples
 from a decline in healthcare services.
For instance
Linking Words
,
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 on borderline in several countries complain of
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
criminal
Replace the word
crime
show examples
 rate.
Thus
Linking Words
, households find
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
benefits
Change preposition
of benefits
show examples
 when
leave
Correct pronoun usage
they leave
show examples
 their lands.
Hover
Use the right word
However
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 negative effects on
people
Use synonyms
 themselves or
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the modern
cities
Use synonyms
 will
congested
Verb problem
be congested
show examples
 by rural
people
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 will cause immense issues
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
 in
cities
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, crowding of
cites
Use the right word
cities
show examples
 and
careers
Fix the agreement mistake
career
show examples
 opportunities decrease, but
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 differences between outsiders and locals
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the main complication.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, villagers will
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 difficulty in
adaptability
Replace the word
adapting
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city
show examples
 noises,
also
Linking Words
finical
Correct word choice
financial
show examples
 issues will occur, because the rural
people
Use synonyms
 can not
affordable
Replace the word
afford
show examples
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 cost there. In conclusion, I consider that
this
Linking Words
 trend has a lot of negative development, and I suggest that the government have extreme responsibilities among rural public, like
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
show examples
 environment through
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their infrastructure,
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocating
show examples
 and
organize
Verb problem
organising
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
initiatives, which
contributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 enhancing their transfer concept.

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structure
Plan a clear intro that states your view in one sentence.
content
Give one main reason for and one against, and add a short example.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas and keep a steady order.
grammar
Fix big grammar errors and be simple with nouns and verbs.
style
Keep short sentences and clear ideas for easy read.
task response
The writer shows a view and makes clear where they stand.
coherence
The essay keeps some good order with on the one hand / on the other hand.
coherence
There are some linking words that help the flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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