IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the provided bar chart illustrates how many people drank coffee and bought tea as well as their drinking habits in five Australian towns.

the provided bar chart illustrates how many people drank coffee and bought tea as well as their drinking habits in five Australian towns.
The graph below shows
people
Use synonyms
's habits of drinking tea and
coffee
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as well as
Linking Words
 their numbers in
Sydney
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,
Melbourne
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, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart.
Overall
Linking Words
,
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who went to a
cafe
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 for
coffee
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 or tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks are the highest, and those who bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
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 are the second highest in the five cities, with Adelaide as an exception.
Whereas
Linking Words
people
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 who bought fresh
coffee
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 are the lowest in every single city out of the five. In detail,
Melbourne
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, Hobart and
Sydney
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 have the highest
precentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
 of the
residants
Correct your spelling
residents
 who went to a
cafe
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 for having a tea or for just a cup of
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 2 fortnightes with no huge
defrence
Correct your spelling
difference
 between the
propotions
Correct your spelling
proportions
, at about 63%, 62% and 61%,
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
However
Linking Words
, Hobert
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 the highest rate of
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 in the
last
Linking Words
 month with just under 55%.
While
Linking Words
Melbourne
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 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
 are the lowest cities at
this
Linking Words
 term with just about 47% in
Molbourne
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
 and just above 45% in
Sydney
Use synonyms
. Coming to the number of
people
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 who purchased fresh
coffee
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 pretty low compared to the other two in the three city
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 43% in
Sydney
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, 42% in
Melbourne
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 and 38% in Hobart.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Brisbane is nothing special
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 just above 55% of residents who went to a
cafe
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, 35% of the
tottal
Correct your spelling
total
 residents bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 just around 33% bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 as the lowest in
this
Linking Words
 term.
Whereas
Linking Words
 Adelaide is the only city
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 most of its
people
Use synonyms
bought
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
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instead
Linking Words
 of going to a
cafe
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, but there is no remarkable
diffrance
Correct your spelling
difference
 between them with 50% and 48%, respectively, and the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who purchased fresh
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 just below 35%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, whereas".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, sydney, melbourne, cafe, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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