IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Learning of foreign
language
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 is of paramount
important
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importance
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 nowadays
due to
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beneficial
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the beneficial
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 outcomes it provides in both social and personal growth. The best time to introduce a second
language
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 learning to
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school
Correct article usage
the school
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curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 is
therefore
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 at the preschool level. Because
language
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 learning improves a child's cognitive thinking and skills development
as well as
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 develops the cultural awareness at
grond
Correct word choice
a fundamental
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 level, I strongly agree that foreign
languages
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 should be included in
school
Use synonyms
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 at very early stages of learning. In
Correct article usage
the below
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below
Correct word order
paragraphs below
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paragraphs
Punctuation problem
paragraphs,
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 it will explain the reasons in detail. Learning
of
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apply
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a different
language
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 improves the brain function of
children
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especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 in critical thinking, analysing,
desicion
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decision
 making and following instructions.
This
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 will develop a child's
acedamic
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academic
 performances at
very
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the very
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begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of learning through activities
such
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 as speaking and writing
and
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, and
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 even learning through mistakes.
This
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 would be a proper opportunity for a child to develop the process without rushing because there is time until it is fully mastered.
Therefore
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, without waiting to introduce foreign
language
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 learning for mid-level, it is better
to begin
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 at the very first grade. In another way, foreign
languages
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 allow different ethnical people to work together in a
harmonous
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harmonious
 way. If schools could introduce foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 at
very
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the very
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begining
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beginning
 of
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school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
, the
children
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 would be able to develop
the
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apply
show examples
cultural awareness, empathy and harmony from the
base
Check wording
beginning
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. As an
eample
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example
, it is best to plant the good thoughts in
hearts
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the hearts
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 of the
children
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 rather than establishing costly
ammendments
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amendments
 to legal systems in order to maintain the social well-being and enhance harmony among different ethnicities.
Therefore
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, it is always the best practice to introduce foreign
languages
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 to
children
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 as soon as they enter
to
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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. As
to conclude
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, introducing
the
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apply
show examples
foreign
language
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 learning is important to
children
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 once they enter
to
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apply
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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 because of the
oppornunities
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opportunities
 they could get to
buldup
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build up
 their personal and social skills.
Therefore
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, I strongly support the concept.

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task response
Be clear about your view in the first paragraph and restate it in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Add stronger reasons with simple examples and link ideas with better transitions.
language
Check spelling and grammar; use short, simple sentences to avoid mistakes.
strength
The essay shows a clear stance and personal view.
strength
Basic essay structure (intro, body, conclusion) is present.
strength
Use of linking words helps flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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