some people believe that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others feel that a permanent job is better

In today’s contemporary society,
people
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are arguing whether or not
job
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satisfaction
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is more important than
job
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security. Some opine that a permanent
job
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is better than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one you enjoy.
This
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essay will discuss both views
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,
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followed by my personal opinion. On the one hand, those who prefer
job
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satisfaction
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enjoy their own life because it makes them happy. When
people
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like their own
job
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, they will get motivated and do their work even better.
For example
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, teachers earn less income
but
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, but
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they love to teach and they feel proud every time their own students pass the exams or tests.
Also
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,
job
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satisfaction
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can make many
people
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choose their own path and feel happy
while
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they are working on their own
job
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.
On the other hand
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, opposers state that
job
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security is more important than
job
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satisfaction
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because a stable
job
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will give a stable income and safety , so
people
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can plan for their own future.
For example
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, the government officers may have less freedom and stress, but they are sure about their own salary and benefits. In my opinion, both sides have positive and negative effects.
However
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, I believe that
job
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security is more important because nowadays
people
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need a stable income and benefits.

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language
Make sentences shorter and easier. Fix mistakes in grammar and punctuation so ideas are clear.
content
Add more clear points for both sides. Explain why job security can be better and why job joy helps life.
structure
Have one clear position at the end and repeat it in the conclusion. Try to use fewer big words.
structure
The essay has a clear plan: intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
cohesion
Link words like 'On the one hand' and 'However' help the flow.
content
Examples are used to show the points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job
  • work
  • happy
  • enjoy
  • like
  • feel good
  • safe
  • steady
  • money
  • pay
  • income
  • plan
  • life
  • family
  • health
  • stress
  • risk
  • grow
  • learn
  • skill
  • future
  • balance
  • choice
  • option
  • example
  • in my view
  • on the other hand
  • therefore
  • early
  • later
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