IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do advantages of this trend outweigh disadvantages?

In
this
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 day
age
Correct word choice
and age
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, the majority of individuals prefer to have
children
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 later in their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on the reasons and express
on
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apply
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my own view.
To begin
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 with, some couples are focusing on career
prosperities
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prosperity
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 rather than having a child.
For example
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, in Japan and the USA in both countries people save money to purchase a house or possessions before they have had
children
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. Another reason is that some people would not
kindly
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apply
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like to take responsibility for their
children
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while
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 they want to spend on time
enthusiastic
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in enthusiastic
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 events.
However
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, there are a number of
drawbacks
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drawbacks,
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such
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 as they may face some difficulties
to have
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in having
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children
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. What is more, they do not feel being grandparents and cannot know
its
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their
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 enthusiasm.
In
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From
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 my perspective, if young couples think about having
children
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an
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at an
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 early
age
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age,
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 it leads to some pros
like
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, like
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 their
life
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 starts early
and
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, and
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 they understand real
life
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. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages
,
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;
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however
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, I would argue that people should prioritise having
children
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 first rather than
in
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apply
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their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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later
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
in life
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.

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task
The essay needs a clear answer to the question. Start with a short view in the intro and then give two to three well explained reasons, followed by a clear verdict in the end.
coherence
Make the plan clear: give a reason, explain it, and show how it helps your view. Keep each paragraph about one idea.
grammar
Use simple and correct words. Fix common errors such as 'In this day age' (Nowadays) and 'have had children' (have children). Check grammar and word choice.
content
Add more precise examples. Instead of general ideas, give a small, clear fact or effect of delaying parenthood on life, money, or health.
content
The writer tries to link the topic to real places (Japan, USA).
structure
There is a clear ending that states the writer's own view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritization
  • financial stability
  • educational prospects
  • personal development
  • health advancements
  • fertility options
  • economic uncertainties
  • parenthood
  • societal norms
  • life experience
  • generational gap
  • upbringing
What to do next:
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