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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line chart displays the cities population proportion in Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia between 1970 and 2020, along with the projections for 2030 and 2040.

The line chart displays the cities population proportion in Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia between 1970 and 2020, along with the projections for 2030 and 2040.
the
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The
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 chart
provid
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provides
 a clear view of the
onformation
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information
 about the
residente
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residents
 of four different
countrys
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countries
 over the period of 1970 to 2020 and a future plan to 2040.
Overall
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, it is visible that there is a clear
differences
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difference
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 between the 4 lines. Some categories increased a lot ,
while
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 others went down or stayed almost the same.
THese
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These
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changs
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changes
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helps
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help
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 understanding the trend and how things work in other areas. In detail, Philippiones started at 30%
on
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in
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 1970 and was almost stable
at
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for
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 the next 10 years
,
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;
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Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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at
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in
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 1990 it went up to 50%
after
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. After
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 that
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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counting
Verb problem
continued
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 going down antell 2010 and
on
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from
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 2020 to 2040 it is
resing
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rising
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 to almost 50%.
Furthermore
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 , in
Malaysia
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Malaysia,
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 it was
such
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 a different moving way
at
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. At
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first
Punctuation problem
first,
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 it was 30% and
at the
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end
Add a comma
end,
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 it went to 80% and the
hug
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huge
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chump
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chunk
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 was from 1990 to 2000.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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Thiland
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Thailand
 and Indonesia
was
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were
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 almost the same
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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on
Change preposition
in
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 2000 they went in
differnt diractions
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different directions
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 Indonesia went up to 60% .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population proportion
  • line chart
  • historical trends
  • projections
  • urbanization
  • economic impact
  • infrastructure
  • social services
  • compare and contrast
  • general trends
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