IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Recently published figures show that the wilife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Recently published figures show that the wilife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Nowadays,
animals
Use synonyms
 are decreasing in our global for the
five
Correct word choice
past five
show examples
 decades year
has
Use the right word
as
show examples
been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
evidenced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent studies . In my opinion , I believe that there are,
however
Linking Words
, some effective ways that can
be to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help the wildlife to
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in the global around
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in order to protect and reduce the
animals
Use synonyms
 . The
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
 council need to plan the project to let the public know what is the best way to help the
animals
Use synonyms
. Residents need to reduce the air pollution in our public areas.
For example
Linking Words
,
reduce to smoke
Replace the word
reducing smoking
show examples
 could
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help to protect them.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can take the tram or train
instead
Linking Words
to drive
Change preposition
of driving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 car on the road .
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 should stop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to kill
Change preposition
from killing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 and
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 them.
For instance
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should fine the
people
Use synonyms
 who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
kill them to
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 the
handbag
Fix the agreement mistake
handbags
show examples
 or jackets to sell
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, they need to ban
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
eat
Wrong verb form
from eating
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wildlife and
sell
Wrong verb form
selling it
show examples
 in the market.
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
additional
Replace the word
Additionally
show examples
,
People
Use synonyms
 should be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
instead
Linking Words
to eat
Change preposition
of eating
show examples
 fish or meat
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
decresing
Verb problem
to decrease
show examples
 the number and protect them. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the wildlife population has been decreasing in the world but we can start from now on to help them because it is part
our
Change preposition
of our
show examples
 life to keep them to create a wonderful world.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, instead".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words animals, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduce" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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