IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

There are more workers work from home ad more students studying from home. This is because computer technology is more and more accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative devlopment?

With the advancements and cost effectiveness in internet services, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people tend to do work and studies on virtual platforms, rather
physical
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than physical
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attendence
Correct your spelling
attendance
.
While
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 it is true that
this
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 trend has become helpful to restrict travelling long distances
while
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 saving a lot of money and time, I believe that it is a negative development which could
hinders
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hinder
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 the building-up of social relationships and
to
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apply
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cause
long term
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long-term
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 health issues
phisical
Correct your spelling
physical
 and mental. In
Correct article usage
the below
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below paragraphs
Correct word order
paragraphs below
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, a thorough discussion will be done.
Firstly
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, working or studying on virtual platforms
cut-off
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cuts off
show examples
 the physical
encountering
Fix the agreement mistake
encounters
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 between individuals
which
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, which
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 could degrade the social
inter-connections
Use the right word
interconnections
show examples
.
This
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 will eventually lead to
lack
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a lack
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 of social skills development
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such
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, such
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 as collaboration, resolving issues, social commitment, understanding and empathy in the long run. Eventually,
this
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 would certainly create conflicts among people
while
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 trying to resolve more complex problems
such
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 as human
resoruces
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resources
, political issues
etc
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, etc
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.
Therefore
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, it is not always the best practice to go with the trend of online working and learning permanently.
In addition
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, those web-based gatherings could always prevent the
phisical
Correct your spelling
physical
 movements of individuals, trapping them
to
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in
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 their
bedroom
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bedrooms
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.
At the end
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, a person could suffer from
obeysity
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obesity
, diabetes and high
cholestrol
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
 conditions which are difficult to cure.
Also
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,
due to
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 boredom, the person's mental health could
also
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 be drastically declined, being caged
to
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in
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 a room.
This
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 is particularly harmful for children as they would end up being more
mechanised
Replace the word
mechanical
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 without having
imotional
Correct your spelling
emotional
 intelligence and mentally ill.
However
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, it is worthwhile to mention that working and
styding
Correct your spelling
studying
 on
online
Correct article usage
an online
show examples
 basis clearly gives freedom to a person,
due to
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 time and cost saving. But it is evident that the prolonged uses have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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negative impacts
causing
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, causing
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 more serious problems to social
well being
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well-being
show examples
as well as
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 health.

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task
Your view is clear. Use a short opening line and finish with a short end.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, but, then, so.
content
Give more real examples. A small fact or event can show a point.
language
Check spell and form. Use clear words and check for mistakes by reading aloud.
stance
You state your view in the first part.
content
You give many ideas to show why the view is negative.
structure
You use linking words to show order.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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