IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Governments worldwide constantly grapple with the question of how best to allocate resources for transportation infrastructure.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that investment in
roads
Use synonyms
 should remain the priority, I firmly believe that
railways
Use synonyms
 deserve greater funding
due to
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 their efficiency, sustainability, and capacity to transform societies.
To begin
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 with,
railways
Use synonyms
 represent a more sustainable and forward-looking mode of transport compared to
roads
Use synonyms
. Trains, particularly those powered by electricity, can transport vast numbers of passengers and goods with a fraction of the emissions produced by cars or lorries.
This
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 not only alleviates traffic congestion but
also
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 addresses the urgent global challenge of climate change.
For instance
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, high-speed
rail
Use synonyms
 networks in countries
such
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 as Japan and France have dramatically reduced reliance on short-haul flights, thereby cutting carbon footprints
while
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 offering a faster and more reliable alternative. Beyond environmental advantages,
rail
Use synonyms
 infrastructure contributes significantly to economic growth and social cohesion. By linking remote towns with urban centres,
railways
Use synonyms
 encourage regional integration, stimulate trade, and expand access to education and employment opportunities. A reliable railway system
also
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 fosters tourism and enhances productivity, as commuters can make use of travel time more effectively than when driving.
In contrast
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, heavy investment in
roads
Use synonyms
 often produces diminishing returns, as traffic volume tends to expand in line with road capacity, leading once again to congestion and higher maintenance costs. That said, it would be naïve to disregard the role of
roads
Use synonyms
 entirely. In rural or isolated regions, where
rail
Use synonyms
 connections are impractical,
roads
Use synonyms
 remain the lifeline for transporting goods and providing access to essential services.
Moreover
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,
rail
Use synonyms
 and road systems are not mutually exclusive but rather complementary
:
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 ensure
last
Linking Words
-mile connectivity, linking people and businesses to the wider railway network.
Therefore
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,
while
Linking Words
roads
Use synonyms
 require ongoing support, they should not overshadow the long-term strategic benefits of railway investment. In conclusion,
although
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 both
roads
Use synonyms
 and
railways
Use synonyms
 are indispensable, I strongly advocate for governments to
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
rail
Use synonyms
 development.
Railways
Use synonyms
 are not only more efficient and environmentally responsible, but they
also
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 have the potential to reshape economies and societies in a way that
roads
Use synonyms
 cannot. Ultimately, placing
rail
Use synonyms
 at the centre of transport planning is a visionary step toward sustainable and inclusive progress.

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content
Be clear on your main view in the first paragraph and restate it in the end.
coherence
Use more bridges to link ideas. Use words like also, but, however, as a result to show how points fit.
evidence
Give more facts or numbers to back up your point.
structure
Keep one idea in each paragraph. Do not put many ideas in one block.
language
Use simple and clear word choice. Try to avoid long phrases that slow the read.
content
Clear view that rail can be better for many places.
evidence
Good use of examples from real rail work to back up points.
structure
The essay has a real start, body, and end.
coherence
The idea of rail and road as a team is shown well.
ideas
The answer links climate, growth, and life in town.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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