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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some consider it to be a negative development, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Commuting long distances every day to job and study has become significant for those who cannot do their job and study online. There are advantages and disadvantages of long-distance travelling. I strongly believe that long hours of commute can provide considerable benefits, if that time is used on meaningful aspects. Those individuals who educate in childcare schools often have to travel, which may be more than an hour , which can be proven as a negative development.
This
Linking Words
 is because long travel can cause stress and fatigue before checking
in to
Use the right word
into
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job
Correct article usage
a job
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. If a teacher feels tired in the morning,
this
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 will reduce their productivity, affecting
overall
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 well-being and the environment of the class.
For instance
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, the less the educator is motivated, the less they will be active in the class.
Similarly
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,
although
Linking Words
 students can enjoy travelling
while
Linking Words
 listening to songs and reading books, sometimes
this
Linking Words
 will affect their mood
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 some students fall asleep in the running class. On the benefits side, there are multiple ways of using commuting hours by chatting with families, checking emails, and important messages on mobiles. Working full-time is very hectic , and it becomes very difficult to check phones frequently;
therefore
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, commuting hours can be used for checking vital notices and emails online.
Moreover
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,
this
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 time can be used to listen to podcasts, news and other learning courses .
This
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 will not only help teachers and learners to stay up-to-date but
also
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 improve their confidence and increase their motivation. In conclusion, travelling to school and work is unavoidable because most of the work is done in person.
Therefore
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,
this
Linking Words
 time should be utilised on meaningful websites
instead
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 of causing physical distress. If learners and workers enjoy their travelling by using these strategies, they will be very positive in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.

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task relevance
State your position clearly at the start and keep your view steady through the essay.
structure
Use a small plan: one paragraph for the bad side, one for the good side, then a short end.
evidence
Add one or two clear facts or ideas to back each point.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words so the flow is easy to follow.
grammar
Check grammar and spell to avoid miss clean text.
content
The idea to use commute time for work links is clear.
structure
You show a view from the start.
content
Some good example idea about how time can be used by learners and teachers.
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