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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the table below gives information about the three countries with the highest populations. Summarize the information and make a comparison.

the table below gives information about the three countries with the highest populations. Summarize the information and make a comparison.
The table chart illustrates the figures for the
population
Use synonyms
 of three major nations with various elements
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
,
population
Use synonyms
 expansion, density, land sizes and metropolitan
population
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the developed countries,
China
Use synonyms
 and the U.S. experienced marginal and decent increases since 2017,
India
Use synonyms
 saw a dramatic rise in its number.
In addition
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the
developed two
Correct word order
two developed
show examples
 countries account for more than half of the
population
Use synonyms
 in major cities,
whereas
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 up a relatively marginal percentage in
India
Use synonyms
. To start with, regarding the
population
Use synonyms
 and
population
Use synonyms
 increase,
China
Use synonyms
 has over 1.4 billion people. Even though the number of residents in
this
Linking Words
 nation has climbed marginally
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 0.39%,
this
Linking Words
 country still keeps the top position.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 nation is less crowded than
India
Use synonyms
at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
 151, which
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 almost a third of
India
Use synonyms
. Geographically,
China
Use synonyms
 is the largest of all, nearly tripling the size of
India
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the urban areas, the USA accounts for more than 80%, which is more than twice that of
India
Use synonyms
.
China
Use synonyms
 followed as the second at 58%. For
this
Linking Words
 data, we can see that more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the
population
Use synonyms
 in
China
Use synonyms
 and the U.S. live in metropolitan cities,
while
Linking Words
 Indian citizens are situated in the outskirts.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, china, india with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "marginal" was used 3 times.
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