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Writing Samples
Band 5

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.
The provided line graph illustrates the total number of
patients
Use synonyms
 who visited four clinics in a hospital from 2010 to 2016.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, there was a clear disparity among all clinics,
whereas
Linking Words
 eye, diabetic, and dental clinics increased gradually,
while
Linking Words
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
 control
clinic
Use synonyms
 witnessed a fluctuating trend throughout the period shown. As shown in the figure,
initially
Linking Words
 in 2010,
diabetic
Correct article usage
the diabetic
show examples
clinic
Use synonyms
 had the fewest
patients
Use synonyms
 among others, at about 60.
Then
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure rose slightly to almost 100 and remained constant towards the following four years, before nearly doubling by 2016.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 100
patients
Use synonyms
 had dental problems and
seek for
Wrong verb form
sought
show examples
 dentists in the early years. Despite showing a decline over the next two years, the number of visitors recovered, accounting for approximately 130 by the end of the period shown.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
eye
Correct article usage
the eye
show examples
clinic
Use synonyms
 saw the most dramatic growth, starting at fewer than 150 and soaring to 350 over a six-year span, making it the most popular
clinic
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, beginning with the
most
Correct word choice
largest number of
show examples
patients
Use synonyms
, at just below 250,
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
 control
clinic
Use synonyms
 reported a fluctuating pattern and
rebounding
Wrong verb form
rebounded
show examples
 to its initial number throughout the observed timeframe.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words patients, clinic with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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