IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

The existence of a
factory
Use synonyms
 near the neighbourhood has some benefits and drawbacks. I would not agree if there is a
factory
Use synonyms
built
Verb problem
were built
show examples
 near my village, because the drawbacks definitely outweigh the benefits. On the one hand, the existence of a
factory
Use synonyms
 near the village would give some advantages to the
villager
Fix the agreement mistake
villagers
show examples
. Individuals would be helped to
have
Verb problem
find
show examples
 a job easily, because a large
factory
Use synonyms
 needs many workers.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 causes significant growth in the
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 sector of the community.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a
factory
Use synonyms
 could
also
Linking Words
 invite business and market opportunities in those
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, which can lead to a better
individuals'
Fix the agreement mistake
individual'
show examples
 vitality in the village.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 some disadvantages to the effect of
this
Linking Words
 event,
such
Linking Words
 as pollution and waste caused by the
factory
Use synonyms
 activities. In many nations,
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 drink
poluted
Correct your spelling
polluted
 waters and
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
poluted
Correct your spelling
polluted
 air
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are the side
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 of
the industry
Replace the word
industrial
show examples
 production.
This
Linking Words
 case increased the damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the local environment and resulted in poor health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the people. By
this
Linking Words
 incident, I have my opposite position with the company, because even
there
Correct word choice
though there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some benefits
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
exsistence
Correct your spelling
existence
 of the
factory
Use synonyms
, the drawbacks are something we should not accept. Because health is not something to be staked with some
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 values.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 the existence of the
factory
Use synonyms
 could increase the
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 sector of the community, it
also
Linking Words
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 a bad effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
healthiness
Replace the word
health
show examples
 of individuals.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
occurence
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 of the
factory
Use synonyms
 in the area is not something to be supported by people.

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structure
Improve flow by using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and connect ideas with simple linking words like 'also', 'but', 'however', and 'for example'.
content
Make your position clear in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion. Use a direct opinion sentence.
content
Develop each main idea with a specific example or evidence. Right now examples are general.
language
Check spelling and use correct words (polluted, existence, economy).
language
Keep language simple but accurate. Use basic grammar and avoid long sentences.
content
The writer shows a clear point of view and tries to balance pros and cons.
structure
There is a response with an introduction, body and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • infrastructure development
  • local businesses
  • unemployment rates
  • pollution
  • residents' health
  • noise and traffic congestion
  • social tensions
  • community dynamics
  • boost the local economy
What to do next:
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