IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that schools should invest more money in technology, such as more computers, while others think more money should be spend on teacher. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the question of whether institutions should invest more funds in
technology
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 tools or good
teachers
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 has been widely debated.
While
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schools
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 put money into tech gadgets, others argue that they spend more money on tutors.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I support the former viewpoint. On the one hand, in the modern era,
schools
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 give all the
technology
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 gadgets to their
children
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 because in the future, new generations will have sufficient knowledge about how they tackle tech problems.
For example
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, New York
schools
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 conducted a survey of their
schools
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 about new
technology
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 installation, and
children
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 are full of happiness because they want to become the greatest technician.
Moreover
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,
technology
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 plays a crucial role in modern lives.
On the other hand
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, people think about whether
teachers
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 have good motivation, and
then
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children
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 get a good experience
while
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 studying.
For instance
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, in the
last
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 year, Hong Kong city reporters have shown information about all institutions well well-educated
teachers
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 over to
technology
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 tools
due to
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 students being full of energy.
Furthermore
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,
teachers
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 make a good future for students by providing appropriate interpersonal skills. In conclusion,
although
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teachers
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 make a bright future for
children
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.
However
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, these days, learners need
technology
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 skills over the
teachers
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.

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organization
Make a clear plan before you write. Say your view in the first line of the intro and again in the end.
structure
Make one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence that links to the task.
coherence
Use simple links like and, but, also, in addition to join ideas.
content
Give real, small examples that fit each point. Do not add many new facts.
conclusion
Check your ending. Say if you agree with the view in a short, clear line.
content
The essay shows the topic and the writer's view in the intro.
content
There are some examples that try to link to tech use.
style
The ending tries to sum up the idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • money, invest, spend, school, teacher, student, learning, class, lesson, plan, time, cost, price, benefit, risk, problem, solution, more, less, equal, fair, access, help, use, device, computer, screen, internet, tool, training, support, teamwork, study, future, job, good, bad, because, if, but, also, then, now
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