Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, many countries in the world must invest revenue
to
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in
show examples
essential
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
for enhancing the life quality of the residents
, in
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. In
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fact, how
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government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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invest money has
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
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to
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on
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country
Correct article usage
the country
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, some
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. Some
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people believe that
spend
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spending
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investment in public services
are
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is more
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important than in the
art
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arts
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, personally
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. Personally
show examples
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,
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I strongly disagree.
This
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essay will argue that
it's
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it has
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huge benefits for investment in the
arts
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, using
example
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examples
show examples
from
Thailand
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the Thai
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government
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to
demonstrat
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
point
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points
show examples
and prove arguments. From my perspective, there is ample evidence that
Use synonyms
government
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governments
show examples
endeavors funds for
difference
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different
show examples
services to encourage
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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of life of residents in countries, which
included
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includes
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physical and
mentality
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mental
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health.
For example
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, in Thailand,
although
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government
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the government
show examples
invest funds in public services
such
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as healthcare,
school
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schools
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, and
museum
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museums
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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also
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support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
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money to the
arts
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,
such
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as music, dancing, theatre and
handiwork
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handicrafts
show examples
. The central behind
this
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reason
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apply
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is twofold
,
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;
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firstly
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, the
arts
Use synonyms
are able to enhance mental health in people by reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress,
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secondly
Correct word choice
and secondly
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, these
point
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points
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could
advocate
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encourage
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teenage
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teenagers
show examples
to explore
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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talents and grow up to be a famous actor, an artist, and et
cetera
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on
. In my opinion, the
arts
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can be a part of public
sevices
Correct your spelling
services
or leisure activities.
Moreover
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,
according to
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the research, leisure activities have
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
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to decrease a stressful and make people
exceeding
Verb problem
feel more
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enjoyable, which
causing
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causes
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less depression in humans. From my experiences, I
was
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apply
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participated in the musical club and painting club
,
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apply
show examples
when I was a student
, these
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. These
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activities
pull up
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improved
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my skills, which I
have
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had
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never known
,
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.
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I found that I was able to play piano
and
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, and
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I
continue
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continued
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practicing
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practising
show examples
until I had achieved a high level
and
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, and
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I could be a teacher. In
conclude
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conclusion
show examples
, from
this
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argument and examples
given
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given,
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I firmly believe that
if
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apply
show examples
government
Use synonyms
investment in the
arts
Use synonyms
,
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apply
show examples
it's created several
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
to residents in the country.

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planning
Your view is clear, but you need a stronger plan and more clear reasons. State your position in the first sentence and keep it in the essay.
language
Use short, simple sentences. Check for grammar and spelling to avoid long run-on lines.
development
Give one or two strong examples and explain how they show your point.
coherence
Link ideas with small words that show order, like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however'.
idea
You state a view and try to use an example from real life.
style
You use your own life in school clubs to add a touch of voice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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