IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, there is a restriction of the age for legal marriages Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries have amended
minimum
Correct article usage
the minimum
show examples
age
Use synonyms
limit
Use synonyms
 criteria for marriage for
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 citizens by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
law. I believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the merits
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
 outweigh the
de-merits
Use the right word
drawbacks
show examples
 since it
ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
show examples
 that spouses have the financial strength to raise a family by the time they get married
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 it helps to prevent premature births
due to
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 being too young; despite the drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as creating larger gaps between
parents
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 that
parents
Use synonyms
lack
Use synonyms
 health to
control
Use synonyms
 their
children
Use synonyms
. Through setting
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 legal lower
limit
Use synonyms
 of
age
Use synonyms
 to get married, the individuals could concentrate more on their financial growth to raise a family.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the youth energy
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is being spent on acquiring wealth, status,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as achieving mental
maturity
Punctuation problem
maturity,
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to build a more responsible person
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Hence
Linking Words
, the economy would
be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
much
Rephrase
greatly
show examples
due to
Linking Words
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 productivity through effectively using the human resources in its peak era.
This
Linking Words
 is one of the key benefits that could
obtain
Wrong verb form
be obtained
show examples
 through setting the legal lower
limit
Use synonyms
 to marriage.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 helps to prevent preterm births
due to
Linking Words
 possible disabilities of young
parents
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 Health
Organization
Use the right word
Organisation
show examples
 (WHO),
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 percentage of pre-mature births are caused by
nutarian
Correct word choice
nutritional
show examples
 deficiencies of young
parents
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because, being young
parents
Use synonyms
, it would be challenging to spend on quality food and nutrition because most of the youngsters would not have achieved their prime to satisfy basic human needs. In
this
Linking Words
 case, the society will face troubles after generations,
due to
Linking Words
lack
Use synonyms
 of healthy workforce to fuel the economy of the country
due to
Linking Words
lack
Use synonyms
 of healthy individuals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, by limiting early
age
Use synonyms
marriages
Punctuation problem
marriages,
show examples
 it could ensure that
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 of
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generations is secured.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the main drawback
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
of
show examples
 setting
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
age
Use synonyms
limit
Use synonyms
 to marriages by law is that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it could create unnecessary
age
Use synonyms
 gaps between
parents
Use synonyms
 and their
Use synonyms
children
Punctuation problem
children,
show examples
 where the
parents
Use synonyms
could
Use the right word
would
show examples
 not be able to dominate the
children
Use synonyms
 and maintain order. Usually, when the
parents
Use synonyms
 are much older, the
children
Use synonyms
 tend to disobey, thinking that their
Use synonyms
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 instructions are outdated.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
parents
Use synonyms
 would not have physical strength to
control
Use synonyms
 the
children
Use synonyms
 in a more
technology based
Use the right word
technology-based
show examples
 generation. Having said that,
lack
Use synonyms
 of
control
Use synonyms
 over the
children
Use synonyms
 by older
parents
Use synonyms
 would be one of the major
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 of getting married after a certain
age
Use synonyms
. In summary, the benefits of
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
an age
show examples
limit
Use synonyms
 for getting married clearly outweigh its drawbacks because of the privileges it provides to
the society through
Correct word order
society through the
show examples
 development of
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
 and healthy generations in future; despite the
lack
Use synonyms
 of
control
Use synonyms
 over the
children
Use synonyms
 when parenting in old
age
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Plan your answer with a clear main idea and plan in the introduction. State your view clearly.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea and a link to the next idea. Use simple sign post words like also, but, so.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Break long sentences and use plain, short phrases.
content
Use more real examples or facts to back up your points.
content strength
The writer shows a clear view that benefits outweigh drawbacks.
structure strength
Some good links to health and economy ideas are shown.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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