Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, multinational companies hire a huge quantity of staff to
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their economic boundaries. Some people argue that employees from large organisations and factories should move to the countryside so that the traffic and housing problems would be resolved. In my opinion, I totally disagree with the above statement because these people would spend most of their precious time commuting to offices. First of all, employees who are not yet married should share their living apartments with their colleagues , so there will be more empty houses for other people.
Moreover
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, they should save a huge quantity of money for their future life, putting aside a little bit per month.
For instance
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, looking at medical conditions, if a patient lives in a rural area, it will take a long time to reach into hospital. Even though
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living in a small house will be safe.
In addition
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, government organisations should avoid using private vehicles and encourage citizens to travel by public transport.
For example
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, in unavoidable situations , riding in the back country at night is dangerous as they have lack of light.
Therefore
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, in
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way, the number of vehicles on the road will decrease , and citizens will avoid congestion
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travelling. In conclusion, individuals who do not want to share their personal space with others find places like village areas more suitable for them. It is completely incorrect to shift employees out of the city because of traffic and housing problems.
Instead
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, the government should make a decision that will not have a significant impact on the community.

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Put your view in the first line of the essay. Then give three clear reasons to back it up, each in its own paragraph.
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Keep each paragraph on one main idea. Use simple linking words like and, but, also, so to join ideas.
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Give real examples that match traffic and house issues. Do not add lines that talk about other topics.
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Improve grammar and punc to avoid long run sentences. Use full stops often.
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Try a short intro that states your view and a short conclusion that restates it.
strength
Clear stance is stated.
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Some relevant ideas on public transport and safety.
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Overall structure of intro, body, and conclusion is present.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • city
  • town
  • country
  • farm
  • factory
  • company
  • business
  • worker
  • job
  • work
  • move
  • move to
  • traffic
  • car
  • road
  • housing
  • home
  • house
  • rent
  • price
  • cost
  • build
  • buildings
  • roads
  • school
  • service
  • shop
  • internet
  • remote
  • remote work
  • investment
  • plan
  • growth
  • develop
  • area
  • environment
  • benefit
  • problem
  • solution
  • balance
  • effect
  • support
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