IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

According to some people, it would be better if industries are established in regions outside the urban area. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages.

First of all, my name is Turki and iam going to share my opnion with you about
industries
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 , will i believe that indusries must be established out side the urban
area
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 , we all now that most of
industries
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 have chemicals and chemicals are dangerous for all of the creatures not just human beings , so if we continue establishing
industries
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 in the ueban
area
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 , humanity would be destroyed after curtain time , i encourage saudi arabia my homeland about establishing out side the urban
area
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 , specially jubail city , because they split the city for two sides , one side for establishing
industries
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 and the other is urban
area
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 for locals , iam really proud of my country , and
this
Linking Words
 is my opnion about
industries
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 and where can we establish them .

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improvement
Explain more points for both sides and give a clear view at the end.
structure
Make a short intro and a short end. Put ideas in order: first good points, then bad points, then view.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Use common, easy words.
example
Add a real example for the good and for the bad side. You did mention Jubail; use it clearly as example.
length
Keep sentences small. Avoid long run-on lines. This helps the reader.
content
Clear view of your topic.
content
Mentioned a real place (Jubail) as an example.
language
Use simple words and short sentences well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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