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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep

With the development of society,
people
Use synonyms
’s living
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
 have
some
Verb problem
undergone some
show examples
 changes
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
decline
Correct word order
seriously decline
show examples
 the
quality
Use synonyms
 of sleep
seriously
Correct word order
apply
show examples
. The reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 sleep
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 are from
long-hours
Use the right word
long
show examples
 working
and
Check wording
hours and
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
. To
slove
Use the right word
solve
show examples
 these problems, making
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 plan of
work
Use synonyms
 &
life
Use synonyms
 balance without
automobile
Correct article usage
an automobile
show examples
 would be the best.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have to
work
Use synonyms
 for long hours for money,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
have appropriate rest even
though
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they get home. Some of them need to keep working until midnight, and get up very early in the morning .
According to
Linking Words
 psychology’s research,
Use synonyms
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
 needs 8 hours
sleep
Change preposition
of sleep
show examples
 or it would always
in
Verb problem
be in
show examples
working
Correct article usage
a working
show examples
 model, which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 damage
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 body.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 probably only have 5 or 4 hours
on sleeping
Change preposition
of sleep
show examples
 nowadays.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the way
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 use their
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 problem
Correct pronoun usage
that lead
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to insufficient sleep.
For example
Linking Words
, they spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 on social media and
tictok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
, which make
brain
Use synonyms
 always exposure in high stimulus
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
. It would have more difficulties getting sleep at night
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why
people
Use synonyms
 have
bad
Correct word choice
poor
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
sleeping
Check wording
sleep
show examples
 and
Verb problem
do feel
show examples
feel not
Correct word order
not feel
show examples
 enough of sleep. In my opinion, to
sove
Correct your spelling
solve
this
Linking Words
 issue,I think
Use synonyms
work &
Correct your spelling
work-life
life
Use synonyms
 balance would be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good way .
This
Linking Words
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
has also
show examples
 become the new global trend in
Z
Correct article usage
the Z
show examples
generation.
People
Use synonyms
 start to plan and manage their
time
Use synonyms
 on working and
more
Verb problem
focus more
show examples
focusing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
on their
life
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
having
Verb problem
taking
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 holiday to travel,
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 their
hobbits
Use the right word
hobbies
show examples
 or exercising
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
, the most important
is
Check wording
thing is
show examples
 doing it without spending too much
time
Use synonyms
 on the
phone
Use synonyms
. In that way, the working
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 shorter and
people
Use synonyms
 have more
time
Use synonyms
 to sleep and take
break
Correct article usage
a break
show examples
. Without using the
phone
Use synonyms
 on social media
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 can
make
Verb problem
relax
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 more relax, so that their
Use synonyms
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 turn to low
stimulus
Use the right word
low-stimulus
show examples
 stage and have good
quality
Use synonyms
 sleep. In conclusion,
long-hours
Use the right word
long
show examples
 working
Check wording
hours diminish
show examples
diminish
Correct subject-verb agreement
diminishes
show examples
 the
time
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 sleep
, and
Check wording
time, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
using too much social media
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 the
sleeping
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
. In my view,
work
Use synonyms
 &
life
Use synonyms
 balance would
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
improve how
people
Use synonyms
 live nowadays
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I believe that it could enhance the
quality
Use synonyms
 of sleeping.

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grammar
Fix many spelling and grammar errors to be clear.
structure
Make a plan with an intro, body, and clear end.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go with each other.
content
Give more exact facts or simple examples about sleep.
content
The essay shows two main ideas: problems of long work and phone use.
content
The plan to fix sleep through balance is shown.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
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