IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

essay Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

essay Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, wildlife protection is very important in our society. In recent studies, the number of
animals
Use synonyms
 has been
reducing
Verb problem
decreasing
show examples
 in our global environment for the past five decades . In
this
Linking Words
 essay , I will discuss some effective ways that can be to help maintain wildlife grow by extinction.
Firstly
Linking Words
, air pollution
such
Linking Words
 as gas emissions from petrol cars has become a major issue that affects the growth of
animals
Use synonyms
 . In order to protect the
animals
Use synonyms
, the
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
 council need to encourage the public
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
clear policy to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution in our public areas , like encouraging
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 to take the tram or train
instead
Linking Words
 of driving a car on the road or commuting with an eco-friendly vehicle. In these ways, it will help to increase the number of
animals
Use synonyms
 growing in the world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, most humans are meat or seafood lovers on
this
Linking Words
 planet as animal flesh
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the source of protein for
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 body. But, having an overwhelming
of
Check wording
amount of
show examples
 meat and seafood could cause the extinction of
animals
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 case, governments are playing an important role in having some laws and regulations to limit the number of
animals
Use synonyms
 killed for
every
Correct determiner usage
each
show examples
 species .
For instance
Linking Words
, governments can
also
Linking Words
 encourage people to have a healthy diet ,
such
Linking Words
 as becoming a vegetarian or
vegan
Correct article usage
a vegan
show examples
person
Check wording
apply
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of eating too much seafood or meat. These ideas
also
Linking Words
 help the protection of animal numbers.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
 are using animal skins for luxury products
such
Linking Words
 as handbags and jackets , but killing a large amount of
animals
Use synonyms
. The government should give the people who are killing a big numbers of
animals
Use synonyms
 that nearly rarely seen on earth to produce handbags or jackets to supply shops in the market. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the wildlife population has been going down on our planet . But, I strongly believe that, by having fewer animal products
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, animals
show examples
animals product
Fix the agreement mistake
animal products
show examples
 from now
could
Change preposition
on could
show examples
 help them increase back as it is
also
Linking Words
 a part of our mission to keep them so that we all can have a wonderful world.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, instead, such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words animals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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