IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The maps compare the layout of Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 in 1920 with its present form.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the entrances remain unchanged, the
park
Use synonyms
 has undergone major transformations in terms of the development of new facilities and the removal of a glasshouse and a fountain. A stage for musicians has been replaced with an amphitheatre for concerts with more space.
Although
Linking Words
 the rose garden in the northwest corner remains unchanged, the two remaining gardens located near the north entrance and in the southwest have been removed. They are now standing in the former fountain, developing a square rose garden.
While
Linking Words
 in 1920, seating facilities were separated on the west and east edges of the
park
Use synonyms
, now they are focused in the middle, surrounding the square rose garden. In the northeast, a playground has been constructed adjacent to a newly added café. A water feature is now operated in the space where a glasshouse once stood. A new entrance for
underground
Correct article usage
the underground
show examples
 car
park
Use synonyms
 has been introduced on the eastern side.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

tip
Use one clear opening line that tells what changes were made.
tip
Keep to simple words. Use 'stage' for music space, 'garden' for plant area, 'fountain' for water feature, 'entrance' for gate.
tip
Link ideas with 'first', 'next', 'then', 'now' to show order.
tip
Be sure to state all main changes in a clear order: what stood, what was added, and what was taken away.
improvement
Check tricky lines and fix them, for example 'They are now standing in the former fountain' to a clearer form.
tip
Group changes by area (north, south, east, west) to help flow.
strength
Clear overview of what changed.
strength
Some good detail on key changes.
strength
Basic map ideas are easy to see.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
What to do next:
Look at other essays: