IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The government should pay for large pieces of the art for public display in outdoor places. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Most people consider it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a responsibility of the government
that
Change preposition
to
show examples
allocating
Wrong verb form
allocate
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 masterpieces which is
demonstrated
Verb problem
displayed
show examples
 in public streets. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I explain my view in
this
Linking Words
 essay. The
Art
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 already become one part of the individuals and pictures or different sculptures
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it illustrates the nation’s identity. Our ancestors
begun
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 to step ahead to create
variety
Replace the word
various
show examples
 types of masterpieces which are considered valuable and popular in
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 modern days. As
passing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
time
, every
Verb problem
passes, every
show examples
 sphere will definitely
face to
Verb problem
experience
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growth and development. Actually,
art
Use synonyms
 shows the person’s inner world and their character. Creating different creatures will boost their
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
creativity and broaden their horizons. Talking about modern
art
Use synonyms
, there are multifaceted styles of creations
such
Linking Words
 as street
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
, graffiti and etcetera. In order to make sculptures or
monument
Fix the agreement mistake
monuments
show examples
, financial support is needed.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 and commodities should
create
Wrong verb form
be created
show examples
 for designers. If
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 wants to reach
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 pitch or reputation, investing
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 youngsters and creators is essential. Encouragement plays a crucial role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 action. As mentioned, investment will come back with a huge reward.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Paris, a number of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 go there
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to watch
piece
Correct article usage
a piece
show examples
 of masterpiece.
Its
Use the right word
It's
show examples
 profitable for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, cause the amount of
money
Use synonyms
is come
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 from
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
. Unless
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there were no creative works, that quantity of funding wouldn’t be reached. In conclusion, dividing
money
Use synonyms
 on
art
Use synonyms
 is a big investment.
Small
Correct article usage
A small
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
 would lead to growth, prestige, and mainly cash. I believe executives ought to pay attention to the work
masterships
Correct your spelling
master 'ships
.

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organization
Plan your essay with a simple plan: intro, two or three big ideas, and a clear end.
grammar
Use short, clear sentences. fix wrong word use and make grammar steady.
examples
Give one strong example and explain how it shows your view.
cohesion
Use linking words to move ideas, like also, but, for example, to connect ideas.
content
You state a clear view that the government should pay for art in public spaces.
content
You begin to link art to the identity of a nation in some parts of the text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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