IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below show the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below show the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph shows the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
Fish
Use synonyms
 ,
Beef
Use synonyms
, Lamb, and
Chicken
Use synonyms
 in a European region from 1979 to 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen , the highest eaten food is
Chicken
Use synonyms
intially
Correct your spelling
initially
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 shows
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
show examples
 trend over the period.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
a gradually
show examples
gradually
Replace the word
gradual
show examples
 fall
seen
Verb problem
has been seen
show examples
 in
Beef
Use synonyms
 and Lamb
consumption
Use synonyms
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Fish
Use synonyms
utilization
Use the right word
utilisation
show examples
 was
plateaud
Correct your spelling
plateaued
 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. After analysing the data, between 1979 and 1989,
Beef
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 went up in the year of 1984 and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 constant in 1989.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the use of
chicken
Use synonyms
 was growing
up in between
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the
times
Check wording
period
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is drastically increased over the given period.
However
Linking Words
, the
utilization
Use the right word
utilisation
show examples
 of lamb fell off and shows
minially
Correct your spelling
minimal
 elevation in 1989.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
fish
Use synonyms
 values remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. Looking more specifically, from 1994 to 2004,
Use synonyms
Beef
Correct article usage
the Beef
show examples
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 rate
consistenlty
Correct your spelling
consistently
drooped
Use the right word
dropped
show examples
 down. Meanwhile,
Chicken
Use synonyms
 values reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 highest peak in 2004.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 rate of Lmap
also
Linking Words
 fell
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as
beef
Use synonyms
, which consistently had the lowest values.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Fish
Use synonyms
 covered a constant
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 all over
te
Use the right word
the
show examples
 given period, with a small
fluctuations
Fix the agreement mistake
fluctuation
show examples

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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, fish, beef, chicken with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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