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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average number of Vietnamese students studying in France, Russia and America between 2000 and 2015. (million students) Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average number of Vietnamese students studying in France, Russia and America between 2000 and 2015. (million students) Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the distribution of Vietnamese
students
Use synonyms
 who
took
Verb problem
received their
show examples
 education in
America
Use synonyms
, France, and Russia
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
 15 years from 2000 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, Vietnam
students
Use synonyms
 in
America
Use synonyms
 surged almost three times in 15 years.
However
Linking Words
, Vietnamese in Russia and France dropped gradually and continued to
grew
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 to the end of the period.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 the initial year,
vietnam
Correct your spelling
Vietnamese
 pupils in
America
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 approximately 1.5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
. over the 5 years, it
continue
Correct subject-verb agreement
continues
show examples
 to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 with almost 2
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 pupils. Evidently, more pupils were studied in
America
Use synonyms
 in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
 with almost 3
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 of
youngters
Correct your spelling
people
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it increased drastically to 5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 in 2015. France had more than 3.5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
vietnamese
Fix capitalization
Vietnamese
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 in 2000, and fell to less than 3
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in 2005.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 remained the same in 2010, it began to
surged
Wrong verb form
surge
show examples
 to 4.5 million
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end of the period.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 2000, 3
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 were studied in Russia,
then
Linking Words
 the number dropped slightly to less than 2
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in 2010. From 2010 to 2015, the value increased gradually to 2.5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, america, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "surged" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average number
  • Vietnamese students
  • studying abroad
  • steady increase
  • significant growth
  • comparatively
  • percentage increase
  • gap
  • narrowed
  • chosen to study
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