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Band 5

Many scientists believe that now we can study the behaviour of a three-year-old child to see whether they will grow up to become criminals. To what extent do you think human nature leads to crime? How can we prevent children from growing up to become criminals?

Some researchers now believe that observing the
Use synonyms
behavior
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behaviour
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 of
children
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 as young as three years old can offer clues about their likelihood of committing crimes later in life.
This
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 view raises important questions about the influence of human nature on criminal
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behavior
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behaviour
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 and the
role
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 of early intervention.
While
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 I believe that personality traits may contribute to a person’s future actions, I would argue that environmental factors play a far more significant
role
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, and that effective prevention is possible through early guidance and support. There is no doubt that certain aspects of human nature—
such
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 as impulsivity, low empathy, or aggressive tendencies—can increase the risk of criminal
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behavior
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behaviour
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. These traits, often visible in early childhood, may be partially inherited or influenced by brain development.
However
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, biology alone does not determine destiny. Numerous studies have shown that
children
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 who exhibit antisocial
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behavior
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behaviour
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 do not always become criminals, especially when they grow up in supportive environments. In fact, it is often exposure to poverty, neglect, abuse, or poor
role
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 models that shapes a child’s future far more than innate temperament.
Therefore
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,
while
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 human nature may provide a foundation, it is the environment that builds upon it. Preventing criminal
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behavior
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behaviour
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 must begin early, especially for
children
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 identified as at-risk. One of the most effective strategies is to provide consistent emotional support and guidance through positive parenting. Teaching
children
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 empathy, self-control, and respect for others from a young age can significantly reduce future
behavioral
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behavioural
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 issues. Schools
also
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 play a critical
role
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 in
this
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 effort, offering not only academic education but
also
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 social and emotional learning. Community programs—
such
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 as youth sports, mentoring, and
counseling
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counselling
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 services—can offer healthy alternatives to negative influences.
Additionally
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, early mental health intervention for
children
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 with
behavioral
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behavioural
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 disorders can help them develop healthier coping mechanisms. In conclusion,
while
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 human nature may influence a child’s
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behavior
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behaviour
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 to some degree, it is not the sole factor in criminal development. Environmental influences, social upbringing, and early intervention play a far more decisive
role
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. By investing in
children
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’s emotional and social development, we can greatly reduce the chances of them engaging in criminal activity later in life.

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improvement
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and link it to the next with small links.
advice
Add a real fact or study to back up your claim, not only general words.
advice
Give more clear steps for how to stop crime now, for example in schools and family life.
improvement
Check the last line to restate your main idea simply.
strength
The view is clear and shows balance of nature and env control.
strength
The plan for early help shows good thinking and care for kids.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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