IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

:the table and charts detailed below give information about the police budget in 2017 and 2018 in an area of Britain. The table illustrates where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

:the table and charts detailed below give information about the police budget in 2017 and 2018 in an area of Britain. The table illustrates where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
The table and pie charts present data about the police
budget
Use synonyms
 from 2017 and 2018 in an area of Britain.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the table depicts where the cash came from and the charts demonstrate how it was separated. In general, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 a number of alterations that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
affected
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
budget
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the total sum of police
budget
Use synonyms
 increased slightly in order to the
growth
Correct word choice
dramatic growth
show examples
 drammatically of local taxes.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
salaries
Correct article usage
the salaries
show examples
 of the officers and staff were dropped sharply.
In addition
Linking Words
, the police
budget
Use synonyms
expressed
Verb problem
is expressed
show examples
 in pounds. Observing the table in detail,
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 government indicated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
175.5m in 2017,
by
Correct word choice
and by
show examples
2018
Punctuation problem
2018,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 source extended to 177.8m.
Then
Linking Words
, other resources showed in 38m.
However
Linking Words
, in 2018 these resources grew
merely
Rephrase
apply
show examples
only to
Correct word order
to only
show examples
 0.5m
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was 38.5m.
Moreover
Linking Words
, local taxes developed markedly from 91.2m to 102.3m in 2018. Ultimately,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 ascended substantially to 13.9m in 2018.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2017 salaries of officers and staff represented
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
 proportion that was 75%. By 2018, the money was
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocated
show examples
 less at 69% to these salaries.
Additionally
Linking Words
, technology remained unchanged at 17% in a year.
Also
Linking Words
, buildings and transport increased to 6% from 8% to 14% in 2018.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, m with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
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